dentist to acupuncture to ultrasound - no fear necessary

"Best Kid Ever" title still defended! She had her first trip to the dentist last Thursday morning. Unreal. We were quite conerned, expecting crying drama, potentally pinning her to the chair or something, I dunno. But no sir, not a bit of it. Daddy gave her one hand, and she climbed right up into the chair, kicked back, stared at the ceiling while he probed, brushed, picked, counted. And never made a peep. We were so proud! She has talked about it since like it was the coolest thing, and now when I brush her teeth she says, "Oh, HI Dentist!"

As for my personal fears, I had my first appointment with an acupuncturist that same Thursday morning. Just an interview, and then Friday morning my first treatment. To explain it the way I did to my MD when he asked why I wanted to try it, "They believe their pins and needles will get rid of my pins and needles!" I was quite apprehensive about it, wondering after booking the appointment, what I had gotten myself into. I realized I had this romanticised image of 'traditional chinese medicine', as if I was going to go to a little dojo type building, wear a kimono and drink green tea. (yes, laugh it up, white girl realizes that those are all Japanese things- minus the tea). Then after actually BOOKing an appointment, and imagining it more, I realized, oh my! They are gonna be sticking me with TONS of needles! AAHH! But it is absolutely nothing to be afraid of! There were a number of them I couldn't even feel, (the needles were not a foot long, only maybe 2 inches!) and others were no more than maybe if someone tapped you with a toothpick. The needles are so tiny tiny they don't even necessarily qualify as needles to me, they look more like a stiffer but still pliable sewing thread. Not anything like getting your blood taken or anything. Certainly no pain. Definitely, the overall experience was a positive, relaxing one, more spa-like. Much different than the typical doctor visit, which people dread. This was very pleasant. Refreshingly so! I will be returning in so much as my insurance coverage will allow. Excellent!

I had my ultrasound today, no gender, and consequently it was hard to discern anything as it was in constant motion, I was there for an hour while she fished around trying to get the shots she needed. Kinda funny. She was like, "I guess you've noticed how active it is?" I was like, uh, Ya. She apologized for how long it was taking but, "I'm just having quite a time here. " And trying to see its face, no sir. Not gonna happen. Not at this juncture. Wouldn't be prudent. She was back and forth from one side of my belly to the other and it just kept turning its back to us, no matter where she went. It was hilarious watching it flip around. It did give us a good shot of the foot though, stuck it right out at us, flexed the toes, splayed them out, stuck his big toe up in the "air", all kinds of fun. That's it for now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I thought this was supposed to be fun.

Poor Anna, while this Christmas thing is supposed to be a blast for her especially, (and I'm certain the DAY itself will not disappoint), the whole month of December prior to Christmas is turning out to be one big downer for her. She is not remembering how it went last year... wait wait wait until Christmas DAY and then all these 'no's become YES's! I'm decorating the tree today (only had lights until now) and it is giving her absolute fits not being allowed to play with the balls and other dangerous glass things. If she would sit and be civil about it, that would be one thing. But she will get frustrated and chuck it across the room, or out of the blue decide, 'this box of balls needs to be dumped on the floor from over my head!' Therefore, the balls are unfortunately completely off limits. This torments her. I thought I had a solution by making her the hook gopher, go fetch mommy an ornament hook off the table and deliver it. Great idea, she is involved and needed, has SOMEthing she is allowed to do. That lasted for about 3 hooks until she decided she wanted to deliver them in her mouth like the puppy she has been reincarnated as, and of course, she has to RUN to deliver it....
We didn't like her running with hooks in her mouth, maybe we are overprotective, but....

Then there is the whole present issue. Again, tormented that she can't open them NOW. She can't yet understand the passage of time, or how there will be a time called Later where she WILL be allowed to open them. So, as much as I love having the presents sitting under the tree for as long as possible before Christmas, it doesn't look like that will be happening this year. We are gonna likely have to go Santa-style, and have it all miraculously appear on Christmas morning. Oh well. There are worse things!

Onto another topic, Anna been able lately to remember and recount to me a few of her dreams! I find this remarkable. There have been four now, most recently last night. She dreamed that there was a fire in our kitchen, all over the floor. She even paced off the area for me where it had been. And Mommy put water on it and fixed it. It was so real to her, that when she came out this morning and looked at the kitchen she said, "Wow, you got it aww cyeaned up!" She fully expected to see mess from the fire. Wow. There was only one time my dream was so real to me I was confused by reality upon waking. Once I dreamed that a friend of mine shot me in the head and I only had a day to live. When I woke up for real the next morning, I raised my head gingerly looking for the blood on the pillow. I was certain I had just napped, and was confused that I was NOT in fact dying. I had to keep telling myself over and over after I woke up, I'm NOT dying, it was a DREAM. I had been prepping myself for death so much in the dream, I woke up more or less ready and expecting it. Weird.

Regarding weather, what's it like where you're at? We are having an incredibly mild winter so far. No complaints! It is great! I've been able to just wear my jean jacket for a coat. Yeah!
Off to nappy land... see ya's later...

just blather

What was that I said about not looking fat? ya, scrap that. FATTY-oh-fatness. OH well.

All kinds of things to say til I sit here to type. How do other people do it? Lethologica. It's a nasty condition.

So my 4 month fetus is already auditioning for the remake of Karate Kid in 2025. Doing a lot of practicing as far as I can tell right now.
It's like, "can you feeeelll..... this? How about..... THIS! .... ooorrrr THIS! *WHAPOW*"
Uh YA, thanks, got that! I think I'm in for a bruised and sore last 4 months.. good grief! All good. Actually I love it. It fascinates me to no end and makes me want to have 10 kids, just because of the wonderment of this phase of pregnancy. There is the emotional rollercoaster side, where I'm really worried how I'm gonna divvy time between a needy newborn and my darling beloved Anna who is used to all my attention, AND a hubby... But, same as when I was having Anna in the first place, I just have to tell myself with repetition, nearly every other woman in all of time has done it before you, you can too.
This simple reminder/reassurance gets me through a lot of otherwise overwhelming panicky anxiety.

In other news, I have discovered I love sardines! I know, I know, I nearly had an identity crisis when I killed my first can. I will open a can and totally clean it out all by my lonesome for lunch. Hopefully the benefit of the omega 3's (sardines are an awesome source for those) outweighs the sodium I'm assuming is too high in anything that is canned.

I have ordered some maternity clothes I'm super excited waiting to receive.... yeah for Old Navy clearances ! Although I had to jump through ridiculous hoops since they will neither send to Canada, nor will they even accept a Canadian credit card online... yes, it amounted to no small amount of frustration at the time, but now that it is worked out (my dad is buying and sending them to me and we will reimburse him) I'm putting the past behind me and looking ahead to my hopefully semi-stylish pregnancy. Neither I nor my karate kid are appreciating my regular jeans ANYMORE.

I still have lots of Anna's presents to wrap, so I guess I should get to it... I just hate leaving this un-touched for TOOO long...

But the highlight happy thought is... Christmas decorations! I love them! The lights have got to be one of the cheeriest things in the natural world and I love love love giving gifts... I had some saved, so I'm actually able to give anna and chris some things... it feels SOOO good!!! Yeah!

Who knew?

You Are 81% Peaceful

You are the epitome of inner peace and total calm. You are grounded, emotionally mature, and very wise. While no one's life is perfect, you have a great amount of perspective on the world - and you place in it.

How Peaceful Are You?

I think I would be even more peaceful if I had that chic's hair... nice.... mmm.... shiny.....

Christian Life

I am overwhelmed with these questions.

I haven't been able to sum any of this up nicely yet, but there is something I am stumbling over, and that is making me crazy right now.
Here goes:

So there was John the Baptist. He lived in the wilderness, ate locusts and honey, and wore burlappy type sacks for clothes. Jesus said of him in Matthew 11:11, "among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist."

Jesus himself was a big scandalous trouble maker among church leaders, and upset the status quo for most everybody He encountered - for the good, of course!

I am wondering to what degree our lives as Christians are compromised and fruitless because of our being man-pleasers instead of God-pleasers, and HOW our lives should change. Most people thought JB (John the Baptist for now) was a psycho, I'm sure. He just wasn't normal, let's face it.
If he were here today, he wouldn't be at the movies, he wouldn't play video games, etc. (sorry for another shot at movies... I'm just not thinking of more creative examples), he wouldn't live in a fancy house, or wear brand name clothes.

I imagine these 2 types of western Christians. They have to be western, cause I don't know how things work elsewhere in the world, socially, and I'm trying to figure out how to live here.

Christian #1 is a fairly normal guy on the surface. Yes, he loves God very much, is very devout, knows his Bible, whatever. But he doesn't freak people out with his intensity. He is a Christian while still being accessible to the larger population, and nobody thinks he is a psycho. At face value, his life isn't that different from your general upstanding citizen. Because he is accessible, he has more chances to talk to more people about God who don't instantly disregard him.

Then there is Christian #2 who DOES freak people out. He has so given his life to God's affairs that he stands out from society at large. He doesn't take more than he needs, he is not afraid to wear nerdy clothes and live in a home that isn't trendy or big or drive a little older, again, nerdy car. (a socialist for Christian reasons :P ) He chose this humble lifestyle in order to be able to give more to the truly poor and needy. He spends more time with church than most people deem 'balanced'. He spends more time praying and reading the Bible than most people deem 'balanced'. He knows little of pop culture because he doesn't bother with it, maybe sees it as a distraction from God. People think he is an insular, out-of-touch weirdo.

Which life has more impact? Or can we know or say? Which life is more pleasing to God?

I have been struggling with this for a while, but it came to more of a head when I heard criticism of people I know who have given their lives to prayer, fasting, and community service, I don't see how that is so much more different than Mother Theresa, whom I didn't hear ANYone of ANY faith criticizing. Everyone except the hedonists, who might have called her a sucker missing out on transient physical pleasures, or said, oh, isn't she noble, living a selfless life in the service of others.
I'm not saying every intercessory missionary should be up for sainthood.
I'm merely trying to figure out where the balance is in being accessible, living IN the world and not being OF the world, 'coming out and being seperate' while still having an impact, while still being true to the calling and the life that Christ led, if we are indeed following Him as we claim.

I don't think everyone should live in the desert or have to eat locusts, or even Kraft dinner 10 nights a week. I think that thrift store finds are perfectly acceptable replacement for sackcloth.
But I wonder how much we are rendering our Christian lives powerless and fruitless by our choices.
Today I spent $90 on maternity clothes from Old Navy. More than I've spent on clothes in years. Mind you, I still managed to get 7 items: a bargain by general retail standards. And I don't feel guilty about my purchase. BUT ultimately, I know the reason for spending that was vanity and pleasing man instead of God. It doesn't do anything for God if I'm stylish. I could have covered my body for a lot less with some less than stylish selections from the thrift store down the road. But my vanity wanted to still be "cute and cool" during my period of inflation. We make choices like this all the time.

How much more humble could/should our lifestyle be in order to be more selfless and giving?
How afraid are we of being weird or even material for a mental ward? Is this valid? How concerned should we be with being off-putting? JB was not concerned with being off-putting. He was OUT there, literally! Is it an excuse and copout to try to make your life more moderate so people don't think you are a freak and can relate to you? I really, really don't know.

I've always loved II Corinthians 5:13 : If we are beside ourselves, it is for God; or if we are of sounds mind, it is for you.

Basically, I'm keeping my cool here so as not to freak you out. But really, if it were just me and God, I'm not gonna look normal, so I'm playing it down and containing it for your sake.

Back to point-

People I know that live as Intercessory Missionaries (somewhat akin to a modern-day, Protestant monk life, if it was an order that was active in community and social justice as well as prayer) are called a cult or mentally unstable now by some because of how much time they spend praying etc. and because, likely, a lot of them are rather intense individuals, not afraid to walk up to strangers and say things like, "God told me [fill in the blank] to tell you", to be more overt and visible in their Christianity.

I ranted a bit about this when I started the blog.

Can both Christian #1 and #2 be called "sold out" Christians, that have let go of their attachment to the world and are truly living FOR God?
What is the Church supposed to look like? Where is the true obedience in all that, where is godly living? Where is the church that changes the world by being devoted to and subjected to God? What does that look like? What WILL that look like?

I dunno. and it's making me nuts.
please... any feedback? Even email me if comments are too impersonal or visible, or brief a format. I would love to hear from you!

Movin' on up!

less and less ghetto all the time :P
Little pleasures...
This pregnancy is gonna have at least two distinct advantages over my first one. There was WAY less puking for one thing, (thank You Lord!) but the other day I remembered something else that I will so enjoy, esp. as I grow more cumbersome. Let me back up a little bit.
*beep* *beep* *beep*

When we were first married, we were able to enjoy a variety of very interesting habitations, or crappy rentals, depending on the light you shine on it. From the marraige ceremony straight on through, our experiences will make great stories for kids/grandkids if the Lord tarries. But I won't go back that far. The part that is pertinent to this story is this. At the Frankville house, where we were at when I was in my final trimester with Anna, the "hot" water tank was more of a tepid water tank. The elements were shot. So we boiled water in our largest stew pots and kettles to pour in the tub, trying to warm up the shallow pool of cool water. It never really worked, but it was a decided improvement on the "cold bath in winter" idea. So our only bathing option was very shallow tub of more cool-than-not water. Certainly no showers. It was a definite challenge for me, trying to turn myself around and maneuvre (sp?) this large protrusion of a belly around in an attempt to at least get myself all wet and hopefully washed. That poor belly got banged and binged on the sides of the tub So much in this fiasco... I remember thinking, MAN, a shower would be REALLY handy right now! And then the other day in the shower I thought, oh boy!! I'm gonna get to shower this time, with hot water and EVERYTHING! What luxury! Excellent.

Anna is a less obstinate now that she is totally feeling better (still lingering cough though... amazing how that can hang on sometimes!). Still being more of a toddler, however, in the perjorative sense of the word. I know it is written: man (and that includes 2 year olds) cannot live on bread alone. Although I know of one who lives on hot dog buns... but anyway, digression...
We can't live on bread alone, but what about bread, orange juice and yogurt? That's pretty well all she wants right now, although she did eat a good supper this evening of fish and potatoes, with only minor threats of retribution. I'm glad she likes my bread and all, but sheesh. What is it with kids and bread...

On a lingual note, I gave her one of her Christmas presents early. A Bouli vhs, which is a cartoon snowman all in Irish. I gave it to her on.. Thursday? And by Sunday, the difference in her Irish was unbelievable to me. Like I said, she had never heard a conversation before, so I guess this just made sense of it all. It's not mommy's silly talk, there are ways to respond and communicate further. She is using it back to me now occasionally, which is a huge improvement on never, and even translating some English things I say to her! I really can't believe the difference ONE little cartoon made. I guess it filled in some important gaps! There was one phrase that really tickled her, because she has heard me say it so much. "Cad e sin? " (what is that?) Somebody said it on the video and it cracked her up, as if she was thinking, MOMMY says THat!!! HAhaha! And she went around repeating Cad e sin?? Cad e sin?? for like 30 minutes and cracking up every time. SOO funny. Guess you had to be there.

We were given an artificial Christmas tree which I have already put up. We haven't yet decided if we will keep it, however, as it is a little ... uninspiring. But Anna keeps saying, "I yike your tree."