Holiday Greetings

from Niamh:

We wish you a merry Christmas,

We wish you a merry Christmas,

We wish you a merry Christmas,

and a Happy New You!

apparently Niamh is pretty optimistic about the results of all those new resolutions.

Is that so? Why yes, yes it is.

Anna is 5 yrs old. These are some of the humorous, sometimes wild yet strangely insightful things she has told me recently.

"Old dresses don't die. They just get holes in them."

Prince Edward Island = "Prince Ever Island"

"You know, in the middle part of Canada, the don't use dryers for their clothes. They build what they call a rukajuk, it's kind of a furnace washer. They use thorns to hold it together like this *hammering gesture*. It's the same kind as what they use in California! (as if that should clear it up for me)

"Mommy, what would happen if we went CREEHH *big cutting gesture* with a knife and the blood shooted out!! Jesus would have to build our bodies again. He would have to go ham ham ham with a hammer, and use all his tools!
HA ha ha, no that's just a joke, He would just use his own blood and skin to fix us."

Yes, Anna, that's just what He did. A truer word never was spoken. His own blood and skin to fix our brokenness.

Drive'er Herbie!

Anna got the culture ball rolling today with her question,

"Mommy, do you know what an orchestra is?"

Wow. Yes Dear, I sure do.

So I introduced my girls to Beethoven's 5th, as conducted by Herbert van Karajan.

Thank God for Youtube. I would so love for them to actually experience a live orchestra, but the nearest symphony I know of is at least 3 hours, and a hundred dollars away. Hasn't happened in my 11 years in Canada and likely won't anytime soon*. At least this way, thanks to the univerality of the internet, they got to wow at the size of a double bass, see that many fiddles (as Anna called them) all in unison, puffy-cheeked tuba players, etc.

What a different world that once was mine. Pit, chamber, ragtime, and baroque orchestras, string quartets, fancy dresses at potentially pretentious but exceptionally beautiful performances; airports, shuttles, subways, green rooms, rigorous practice and exhausting rehearsals, sweaty chin-rests, commondering conductors' batons, auditions, late nights.

It is interesting how the seasons in our lives come and go. I can look back to that season as if it were glamorous, and in its way it was, and I didn't know how good I had it. But there are things about my current season, that are certainly enviable, though certainly not glamorous. All of them collectively will amount to a lifetime of diverse and treasured memories.

After watching Karajan's Beethoven, she added, "I want to be a conductor someday!"
Their interpretive dances were priceless as well.

Without my prompting, my girls truly seem to prefer and engage with classical music to other styles. So much for 'inaccessible"!! If a 2 yr old has sufficient attention span for and can engage in it, why can't an adult?

Here is a semi-relevant picture of my high school orchestra with a guest conductor, David Barg. Takes me back. :) I'm sitting principle 2nd violin. At least 4 of the players in this photo are still actively involved in music, 3 of them full time. (I'm the part-timer). 2 or 3 of 4 have their MA in Music: one is teaching and playing full time in symphony and chamber groups; another is performing all over, and has recently been SOLO at Carnegie Hall, thank you very much; another is busy around Boston and greater New England area with various fusion groups and small ensembles. I perform in annual summer concert series, as well as ceilidhs here and there throughout the year, and have weekly piano and fiddle students. At the time, I'm sure our instructors had to wonder if any of their efforts would stick as I wonder with my students. At least for some of us, more than they could have known.

*may I clarify to my American friends/readers that not all of Canada lives in the cultural wilderness as here described. It is a geographical issue, not a reflection of national interest or lack thereof. Canada has its equal share of the world's top artists in every field, indeed, and makes a valuable contribution to global creativity and expression.

Anna says:

"Hey Mom, you know how pirates kill tigers so they can use their skins?"
"No, I didn't. How is that."
"Well, *chuckles awkwardly at having to explain it* they want to use their skins and wear them to blend in to everything that's orange." *makes hand gestures around the room, as if to suggest the presence of orange things around.*

Of course! Orange camo. For a pirate.
Orange and black, bold-striped camo.
I can see where that would be useful.

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We started a new thing this last week which is my new favourite thing. Every night at our bedtime prayers, I ask Anna to select a place at random, be it a country, city, whatever she thinks of, and we pray for them. We have prayed for California, Egypt, Mexico, Texas, China etc.
It has become the highlight of my day.

One night the conversation went this way.

"Ok! Who are we praying for tonight? Pick a country."
"hmmmm... *thinks for a while, being sure to make the right choice* Ham."
"Ham?" I ask, not sure what she is getting at.

"*furrowed brow, confused look, trying to figure out what was not right about 'ham' that made me inquire*

~more time passes while she thinks~

"TURKEY! Turkey. Let's pray for Turkey! Let's pray for the poor Turkey people." *

There! Now you've got it! She knew it was some kind of meat. Just remembering which one was the stumbling block.

*by "poor Turkey people" she meant the people in Turkey who may live in poverty, not that Turkish people should be pitied, merely because they are Turkish. Just for the sake of clarification.

Joie de Vivre

Picture this: you are in a quiet house, with little activity. There is no television or music playing. Everything is still. Your face is expressionless.

Suddenly, you run into the center of the room, begin running in circles and giggling. The giggling turns into hysterical laughter. You keep running and laughing until you fall down. This could go on for quite some time. Then, since you find yourself on the floor, you roll around, and run into furniture, which is all the funnier, and makes you laugh more.

Haven't done this lately? Me neither. My kids can do this. I dare say, children in general can do this. There is something wonderful and inspiring about the ability to just be joyful and carefree, out of nothing. Nothing happened, but the happiness and playful spirit that was already in them enables them to just run and laugh and enjoy the fact that they are breathing, that their legs work, that they can see and hear and delight in all their senses.

What have we lost as adults that we can no longer do this? No wonder children pity us. Seriousness has its place, but does not also carefree liberty and a little silliness still also have a place?

Cards, cake, species analysis

As I enter a new decade, there is lots of reflection. I'm happy about my new decade.
This was the year of cool homemade birthday cards. Observe:

and a cool gift bag too! kewl.
Thanks, special friend. :)

And the announcement you've all been waiting for, I know the suspense has just been too much. I'll knock a few points off your collective blood pressures with this long awaited disclosure.

Q: What was the cake this year?

A: Tiramisu. And it was gooood. Even though it came from a place called M&M Meat Shop, which does not sound like it would have good tiramisu. It sounds like a butcher, but do not be deceived. Or maybe it is bad tiramisu, and I am simply an easily-pleased not-connoisseur. The person who originally introduced me to this Italian treasure will not believe me, but this post was composed (though not posted) before we re-connected. Honest.

Anna is so funny.
Anna: IS God the sun?
me: No, He made the sun.
Anna: But He is light, right, He makes light all around Him. He put a light bulb on His head!

me: Anna, can you hand me my crochet hook from the counter?
Anna: Ok. *gets it and hands it to me*
Mary: Anna, you're so good to help your Mommy!
Anna: Ya, I try to help the old lady.
*laughter erupts, first hesitantly and in some shock, then more freely*

I was nursing Niamh and she started laughing. "Hey! You're a MAMMAL! You give milk, and you are HAIRY!"
Yes Dear, thank you. It sounds so flattering when you say it that way.

It is difficult to keep much pride when you have children around.
That is of course one of their purposes in our lives, and one of their many great values to us.

I have sooo many posts simmering, I can't find the time to sort it and type it. I am a boiling pot right now, my lid sputtering around the edges. I am eagerly awaiting this elusive phenomenon known as personal time.

Dis `n Dat

A random concatenation of thoughts. 

I haven't been around much for a couple reasons:

1) Niamh has decided to start the day at 5:30 lately, and frankly, I'm just not ready at that point. Neither is she, she is still sleepy and sufficiently cranky, and yet she persists with this idea. 

I am less than chipper or productive as well. 

2) Any time the computer is on, one of the kids (yes, both already) think it is their turn and want to do stuff on it. Why did I ever instigate this initially? They never needed to know there are cartoons or games for kids on the computer. 

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Anna says: "I wish I lived in Japan so I could eat seaweed."

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Nova Scotian winter has arrived! When I went out to get wood for the fire at 7 this morning, I was surprised when met with a foot of snow right up to the door. I shovelled a path and the steps before even attempting wood retrieval. It was up to my shins.

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Anna wrote a letter to Santa, giving her list of requested presents. Canada Post replies to these letters, and today Anna's reply from Santa came in our mailbox. A group of volunteers answer all letters sent to Santa in Canada. I found some of the content hilarious and a little Canada specific, particularly the part where Santa was saying how he takes a reusable lunch bag on his Christmas Eve world tour. Love the recycling plug. Good job, Santa.  

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Think of this post as a month's worth of Twitter in one convenient blog entry. 

Always looking out for you, in this often busy season. I just keep giving and giving, what a woman. 

I have lots of stuff simmering again... oh for more opportunity to post. 

Jumping on Jesus

But first:
Months, months of work, I flushed today in a moment's impulsive decision.

One cup of regular coffee.

It takes months, some will know all to well, to acclimate a well-seasoned snobbish palette to the lifeless *marf* of decaf. However, it can be done. It just takes time, and eventually, you will forget what delights a well brewed cup of french roast holds.


I gave in today, and reminded my mouth of the forgotten pleasures. Bad, bad, bad. I was almost contented with decaf. Now I can go back to hating it for a couple months, giving up on drinking any altogether, then finally coming back to it in desperation and not minding it.

Now onto Anna news.

We only have one tv channel here, well, one in English, one in French, but we don't speak French, so anyway.. We have one channel, and Wheel of Fortune is what happens to be on at our supper time, lucky us. Anyway, Chris is quite good at these games. He can solve all the puzzles before anyone else. Jeopardy too, which I am useless at. So there he is answering all the puzzles before the contestants, and it tripped Anna out. One night she was actually paying attention and heard him say, "Red - beans - and - rice, " then the person on tv say it 10 seconds after him. This tripped her right out.

"HEY! How did that guy on tv hear Daddy? Daddy, how did you talk to the tv!!" Now she tries it, but to no avail, they can't hear her. Poor thing. It is funny seeing her yell at the tv things she wants them to say. Of course, yelling louder like, Hey Stupid! Can't you HEAR ME??? Och.

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Out of the clear blue the other day she asked me if Jesus lives in your heart, and I said,
"He will if you ask Him to."
So she went over on the floor, knelt, folded hands and prayed, "Dear Jesus, come and live in my heart. Be my Lord. God, I know He is yours, but I love Him, and would you share Him with me?"
then she stood up all happy and came over to hug me.

Well a few minutes passes, life has resumed, and Niamh is playing her favourite game of sit on Anna's belly and bounce/jump while both of them laugh hysterically.
This time, however, something had changed. Jesus was now in the mix.
Anna yelled, "Jesus! You're going to have to get out again!!! Niamh is jumping on you! Niamh!!! Stop jumping on Jesus! Niamh! NIAMH!!!"

But I assured her that Jesus didn't mind, in fact, He loves kids and will get cross at you for insinuating otherwise.

Dairy farming and dress pants

Anna was explaining to me the other night how dairy farming works.

You see, the cows go down (don't ask specifics, apparently) and milk their selves [sic] and it makes a river (this must be American dairy farms, where they are allowed those hyper-production hormones) and the farmers go down to the river of milk with their buckets and dip them in and carry them back to the farm to give to people.

Wow. What a method.

Maybe this is what was going on in the Bible with that land that was flowing with milk... (and honey - so did the bees use a similar technique?).
Possibly where she got this idea. Otherwise I'm stumped.

Also heard, after watching some traditional Hawaiian dancing on YouTube: "I wish I could go to Hulaland."

But one of the funniest stories remains:
Anna attends a school-readiness program one day a week. Since I don't have a car home with which to take her, we have various people with whom she gets a ride or from whom I borrow a car. One of the families only counts sons among their number; their mother is the only female in the house. One of these young sons is in Anna's class. His usual school-time garb includes sweat pants, runners and a hoodie sweat shirt, all unmatched, of course. Even the shoes are not typically laced up or tied.

However, on the days where he knows they are coming to pick up Anna, he demands to wear his dress shirt and pants. He looked like he was ready to be the Ring Bearer in some one's wedding last time they showed up in our driveway. He even comes to the door to pick her up; hands in pockets, standing a bit off from the door, looking sheepish.

The following week when we didn't ride with them, but I still saw him at school, there he was back in the sloppy sweat pants again.

Hee larious.

The older son was helping Anna get her belt on and she said, while smoothing out her skirt, "Thank you, Brian, for helping me with my belt." And the brothers all looked at each other surprised like, uh, duh, what are we supposed to do?
"Uh, Sure. No prob," came the clumsy reply. Their mother thinks it is great that they are passively forced into being gentlemen in the presence of a lady.

Then today we were listening to Anne Sophie Mutter playing the Sibelius violin concerto, and there is this where there are really fast triplet arpeggios in complex chords - so it sounds a little harried. Anna walked over and looked and the stereo and laughed. "*chuckle* It sounds like they are rewinding!" Then after a minute it resolved into something a little less harmonically obtuse with the full orchestra, and she said, "OK! *phew* Now they pushed play!"

I was cracking up!

Autumn colors

Anna quote of the day, while all us girls were out driving together.
"When I grow up I'm gonna marry someone and I'm going to drive his car."
You go girl.

This "out driving together" was so wonderful. It was like going on vacation somewhere, but only 5 minutes down the road. The fall colours here are phenomenal. This area is known for them, and has a chunk of tourism based on them. Well, this year did not disappoint! MAN they are gorgeous! Yesterday we had rain all morning and then later in the day, we went for a drive. We saw two striking rainbows in the East, a patch of yellow trees that looked like they were spray painted they were so opaque, solid, intense yellow. No branches to be seen, nothing, just LEMON yellow! My favourite part of colours here however, are the cooler tones. When I think of autumn I tended to think of mostly orange and brown leaves. Not so here! Try FUSCHIA, purple, garnet, cranberry, salmon, coral, violet, and this neon red color that reminds me of Manic Panic. And all these fantastic colours in no small quantity!
It's like the angels had a ginormous paint ball fight.

I don't know how many of you share that frame of reference. Manic Panic is a hair dye used by punks, at least the ones at my high school. Does everyone know that brand or is it just me?

Anyway, we stopped by the beach on the way home, though it was too chilly to linger. The waves were high and rough and depositing copious burgundy seaweed onto the beach. The texture and shades of the clouds hold my attention totally rapped indefinitely. Some days they put on quite a show, and this was one of those days.

I always enjoy the perspective I find the sea gives me. I always feel in my gut this weighty sense of the profundity of God's work, of his majesty and miraculous creation. It quiets me (an accomplishment) and is like a touch of the Divine, untouchable, Infinite in a harried world.
I love it.

a day lakeside

My parents-in-law have a cabin on a lake. We went there this weekend and Anna pretended to fish.

It was beautiful. I do enjoy it there, as I do pretty much anywhere with water, I've discovered. If I was a moth, it would be my light. I am drawn to it.

Another Anna quote, from when she was colouring, and pretending to write.

"Hey Mommy, I'm writing you a message. Do you know what it says?"

"No, I don't."

She looks at me like I am crazy and answers:

"Of COURse not, ya Goose, it's just all wobbly!" Meaning, she is just scribbling, cause she doesn't know how to write yet, so how could I know what it said, since it says nothing. Silly Mommy! What were you thinking!

Anna Quote of the Day

"Mommy, I smell something, and it ain't no angel mist either."

Context:
One of Anna's storybooks is about the night Jesus was born, written from the perspective of one of the shepherds. Angels come and leave angel dust on the ground and trees and angel mist, which apparently has this fantastic fragrance, that could only be angels, and all the shepherds pick up and go to Bethlehem to check it out.

This was her cute way of telling me that Niamh had pooped.

There's no such thing!

In an attempt to soothe Anna's fear of monsters, we consistently tell her, there is no such thing.

So when Chris was leaving for work today, he and she had some exchange about why he had to go to work. He said he had to make money, she said why, and he said something to the effect of,
"I have to or the bankers will come and take our house."

Well I guess this sounded scary to Anna. Someone might come and take our house?? Surely Daddy must be kidding.

So this afternoon she was recounting this me and said, "ya, he said he has to make money so that the bankers don't take our house. But there's no such thing as bankers, right?" she said, sluffing it off with casual confidence.

And I answered, "oh yes there is."
She gasped and balked wide-eyed. "What!??!?!"
"Oh it's ok. They're not going to take our house. But yes there are bankers." And then explaining about financial systems of debt and ownership. To a four year old. That went well too as you can imagine.
Maybe I should have agreed with her. "Yep. No such thing."

nice hat

We went on a day trip to PEI recently, and Anna, with her very vibrant artist's taste and love of colour, chose this hat. If the bright colours weren't enough, it also has rows of sequins. I chose homemade Gouda. We all have our kryptonite.

It was great.

I love trips.

It is beautiful there. We went over on the ferry, and it might as well have been a Caribbean cruise as far as I was concerned. Beautiful water, splashing and reflecting a coral sunset... mmm. Me loves Beauty.

I have composed sooo many entries in my head lately, I am surprised when I check back and none of them are actually on the site. I might get around to it. We'll see.

Here's a crazy Anna story. We were driving on the highway, and the following conversation ensued.

"Hey Mommy, I know how we can go fast."

"Oh ya? I thought we were going fast."

"No. Not fast enough. There's fire in the trunk!"

"WHAT!?!?! *checks rear view... sees nothing* What do you mean, Anna?"

"You can't see it, but it's in there. That's how we go fast. The fire comes out of the trunk and then we go supa dupa fast."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

Brain Rain

When it's like a desert out there, rain is sooooo refreshing. It turns dust into productive soil, and a dry hole into a pool.

And when cool things happen that stimulate your mind and your artistic muse, it is similarly rejuvenating.

I played a ceilidh last night with a great fiddle player who was driven'er as they say here, and that was musically great. Some of the best playing I've done in while, which was nice, cause I was wondering if I had lost it entirely. When you get a mojo going with another musician, I am amazed and what it pulls out of you that mightn't otherwise have been there. So fun.

So that was cool. And then I noticed against the wall, an older gentleman who had Is féidir liom JIG a dhéanamh written on his t-shirt. That's Irish, by the way, and I knew those shirts are only available in the Gaeltacht in Ireland, or online, but probably this guy had at least visited a Gaeltacht, so I had to meet him. He came up to me at the break and when asked, yes, he spoke Irish, and come to find he is from Conamara (a Gaeltacht), and is familiar with the area where I stayed, has worked near there etc. We had almost 15 minutes solid of Irish conversation which was super encouraging and fun for me: encouraging that I understood him, and he me. I press on in my goal! Then after playing a tune on the tin whistle he told the crowd that one of the reasons he had come to that town was to meet me, and how impressed he was that I sound like a native! Yay me! :)

This sounds egotistical I guess, but if you know me, you know I'm just excited for affirmation, since I have done soo very much of this as an auto-didact, I'm not super confident in my pronunciations etc. sometimes.

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I have a new game I play. It's called give-the-phone-to-Anna-when-a-telemarketer-calls. Anna likes the game too. I like hearing her responses to their requests for one of her parents, and her attempts at making conversation with them.

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some of Anna's English:
covereds = cupboards
tugga four = tug of war
their chuthers = each other
high hill shoes = high heel shoes

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One of the best rains on my brain of late has been that I have been somewhat frequenting

here...

*sigh* aaaahh yes, fresh beachy watery airy goodness how I love you.

Did I mention this is 5 minutes from my house?

That is Atlantic Ocean by the way.

Did I mention that I have lived here 6 years and it was 6 years ago when I first visited this beach, then didn't see it again til this summer when I have become a bit more vocal about my wants, and I've been half a dozen times in the last month nearly. And it is love...

G.I. Jomance

Anna's little neighbour friend has one of those foot tall G.I. Joe dolls and she brought him over to play a couple days ago. In the hands of two 3-4 year old girls, however, he loses all his macho in a big way. They even named the poor mute guy Romance, his sealed plastic lips unable to defend himself against this imposed image revamping. He was Prince Charming, and the purpose of his big muscles was merely to save Rapunzel from the tower. No shooting or wrestling or sweating. He was probably minty and/or Axe fresh when he rescued her too.
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I have apparently finally acclimated to Nova Scotia. Every year until now, I never found the summer hot. It never got as warm as Kansas City, so I was comfortably enjoying what the locals felt was sweltering. This year, everything changed, and I knew it was changing over the winter. I wore my actual winter coat, maybe twice over the whole winter, and that only while building snowmen for hours. My unlined denim jacket sufficed otherwise, plus a scarf of course, because I am a white person after all.

However, this summer, barely here, has not even reached 80 yet, and I have already begun sweating, and been borderline to complaining about "the heat," which would not have hitherto have been acknowledged as such. In former years, I was just finally taking off my sweater. I was always embarrassed to be standing behind a girl in the grocery store who was wearing shorts, a tank and flip flops, while I still had my scarf on, socks, boots, and had not yet identified where in storage my tank tops were.
Adaptation does apparently happen.
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Two cool quotes from today:
"The only way to see is to shut my eyes, to gaze on that which I cannot see."
Anna: "I wish I could hug Jesus...."
me: "Me too, Sweety."

acorns and an old doll?

Anna went on an overnight camping and fishing excursion with Nanny & Grampy this weekend. she caught a trout while fishing in a brook. She got so very excited when she caught it that she totally forgot herself and forged out into the stream, well over her boots, after that fish. When it started to take off on her, she tried to stop it with her boot! I love the visual of her big eyes, probably squealing, wildly stomping and slapping at the water trying to catch a fish with her foot.

With Grampy's help, she did end up catching it, and ate it, the WHOLE thing, for her lunch the next day. She was so proud.

Then after the fish experience, they were picking strawberries, and at one point in the picking Anna stopped and said to Nanny & Grampy, "When I was young, we didn't have strawberries. I only had some acorns and an old doll to drag around."

It is not necessary to say that everyone split themselves laughing at this tale of unknown origin. Hilarious. Great old-fashioned entertainment.

Anna says:

A couple weeks ago Niamh broke a mug of my grandfather's and I cried. I was already homesick and stressed feeling. Then a couple days ago I was scooting Niamh away from the table so she couldn't get to my current mug. Anna had me explain to her why I scooted her and I did.
"... and if she breaks your mug you will cry and weep!"

Weep??? I don't think I'll weep for pete's sake. I cracked up laughing.
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We were dropping off a friend from church at her house after the service. It was the first time we had given her a ride so Anna inquired, and I explained. Later in the trip, she piped up glibly from her booster seat in the back, "Ok Mommy: you can just drop me off at Tim's."
Ya, right. Dream on.
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This summer it will have been 2 years since my mom was able to visit.
Yesterday Anna packed a little backpack and said,
"I'm going to Kansas City. I'm going to find Mimi! Bye!"
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Pulling into the grocery store parking lot, Anna sighed romantically and said,
"Oh, isn't this a marvelous place?"
Wow, we need to get out more.

Would you like some cheese with your whine?

I feel like I'm losing myself. Not in the spiritual, absorption-into-God cool kinda way either.
I used to have a niche in an Irish session- don't anymore. Could no longer hold my own there.
I don't feel I fit in at church, in a university, with fiddlers or in a symphony, with my blood family (the family I came from, not Chris and the girls). It is confusing. Where do I fit? With whom?

I feel reduced to a function. I have thought a lot about this post from my friend Katherine, where she says, M is for Mom, not maid. I laughed out loud when I read that, saying, Oh, is it?

I suppose it is part of life, and its cycles. I had seasons where I could develop my interests and pursue them, and now I am mostly tasking. The predetermined to-do-for-others list every day more or less indicates that I am an adult now, as opposed to being someone to be pitied. I am a grown up and everyone has to do it, whether they are at a paying job all day, selling their life for a house and groceries, or at home with the kids wiping bums, your time is not your own.

I hear a ''Suck it up, Princess'' somewhere in my head, and I know where from.
You know who you are. ☺

Don't worry, I'll get over myself. Misery loves company, so here I am sucking you into my vacuum. Oh - sorry! I thought you were the curtain! my bad.

Anna's quote of the day: ''Wow, Mommy! You are so tall!!''
Also, she has renamed the 7 dwarfs: Lumpy, Dumpy, Frumpy, Bumpy, Zitsy, Ritzy and Ditsy.
Lovely, isn't it?

I'm stealing Martha's quote of the day thing.
I have a couple from today.
after hearing Jesus Christ sung in a song, she asked,
"Why does Jesus cries?"

Eating and enjoying an apple, she exclaimed,
"God makes the BEST food!!"

These don't compete with Martha's quote from her son,
"Why would you be tired, Mommy?"