"I don't know Pablo Rodriguez."

"Neither do I. Does he play the fiddle?"

Makes sense, eh? No?
I know.
But it is what I swore I heard someone say the other day when in fact they had said,
"I don't know a thing about fiddle music."
Don't ask me how I got the 2 confused. I really must be half deaf. I'm sure Chris would concur.
------

So I've gone back and forth with myself a lot on whether or not to talk about MS stuff here, but that is part of the reason I started this blog, to have a venue to say freely what I mightn't otherwise, as stated before.


I've started taking walks. The weather is nicer (positively heavenly today), it is good for me, I need the exercise, the girls and I need fresh air and to get out of the house. Thus the institution of a new tradition.
But during and after each walk I've had some kind of weird malfunction. The last time it felt like my dentist had rammed shots of Novocaine all over my thighs. The good part, I suppose, is that recovery time seems to be getting progressively shorter. My first walk left me unable to control my feet well enough to stepdance for the whole evening, but my last one was better within 10 minutes. So that's cool. I'm still unnerved to be seeing pretty much daily, not entirely predictable activity, however. Had some emotional upset from it too, but am not going around all freaked out or anything. I still feel confident that whatever happens should be gone soon enough, so when it comes on I don't get too worked up. That does not mean I like it.

I get periods of weakness, where I can't really lift Niamh, or cut through cheddar cheese, but it passes. It was bad for a while where I didn't have the strength to lay Niamh down in her crib. That was an unmentioned reason why I couldn't get her to sleep in her crib for a long while. I couldn't lay her down gently enough, I would always wake her with a plunk. How I groaned after the work into the last 45 minutes of getting her asleep and getting that close to total crib-sleeping nirvana, only to have my hopes of free(er) time dashed on the rocks of an unhappy, sleepy child's cries. It is hitting me more, the potential reality of a reduced functionality in the future, a future that I can imagine now. Maybe that sounds fatalist, but as I pointed out before, that's not always entirely bad.

That'll suffice for my complaining today. Loves to all y'all.

One final thing that is probably only funny if you grew up as a long-haired female in the 90's like me:
Do a Google image search for scrunchie. Kinda cracks me up.

flushing diamonds with dung

Many posts are simmering. I will complain in this one about how youth is wasted on the young.

I have been SOO discouraged from encounters with teens lately. One was complaining about how school is useless and boring, how it is so ridiculous that they are learning about World War II. "It's over," she argued with annoyed indignance. "It's done, it's in the past. It isn't happening now, so why would we need to learn it? " *rolls eyes*

I was so blown away I was speechless to even argue with her. Why? Goodness sakes, where do I begin? There are so many reasons. The utter disrespect and cluelessness as to the pain and suffering of so many people, and the people who put themselves in the line of fire for someone else so she could be leading this comfortable affluent life. The self-absorbed world of these teens, while I will likely get comments saying, oh they all are that way, you were too, or whatever, is making me nuts. Ya, Girl, you're right. Who needs education. Pffh.

I talked to another guy who recently became active, we shall say, with his girlfriend, and was kinda proud of it. His cocky demeanor nearly made me vomit. HE was not spared the earful of my first individual. He was willingly oblivious to emotional and spiritual impact on either of them or any potential physical repercussions. Throwing away precious gifts of purity. A completely topsy turvy value system to my perspective. No no, this short term physical thing is TOTALLY worth potential parenthood, disease, emotional disability and spiritual corruption! Sure, why not! Sounds great. Who needs God, who needs health or wholeness.

Then there is the plethora of little people (who am I to talk, I know :P) I see on Facebook, people I know in our community here, who play with sin. Walk the tightrope, dabble in this or that, and then come and play church. I am not even sure if they know what they are doing. I feel certain they don't understand severity or implications of their actions. SO much is bound up inside me when I see this. I am successfully containing all manner of screams, running over and shaking them and falling on the floor with tears, begging them to heed wisdom. That's what I'm doing on the inside.

I've also had more MS activity lately, which very effectively drives the point home to me of the tremendous value of the strength and energy (and TIME) in youth. That it is cluelessly taken for granted and wasted on video games and flirting with sin is just bringing me to the edge of psychosis.

Camels sound like they are in pain.

If I was able to blog at 2am from my bed,
A) Chris would be really unhappy
B) I would do a lot more blogging.

Cause my mind is racing at that time a lot. Oh well. During the day I'm on duty-mode, and when I have time to blog, I'm usually so relieved to just sit down or something simple, drink the tea that has gotten cold waiting for me to sit, I can't think of anything to say at that point. I know, society suffers greatly from this unefficient pattern. I'll have my people work on it.

So I never really updated how the whole acupuncture thing is going. I have had 3 treatments to date. I'm finding it remarkable! After the 1st treatment, I had about 30 seconds the next day where my hand felt better. After the 2nd treatment I had 5 minutes that day where my hand was like 85% better, then intermittently the following day, and sporatically throughout the following week to a lesser degree. After the 3rd treatment, my pinkie has felt better almost constantly, with some general lessening esp. in mornings, when I'm rested etc. So overall, wow! It IS doing something! a positive something, and so soon!!! I sure didn't expect to see anything at ALL that soon. Improvement is supposed to come incrementally. Longer, better, till eventually, it comes and stays.

For those who don't know/remember, the deal I'm talking about in my arm is like this. My right arm feels like I laid on it or something and it fell asleep and has had no change since December 2005. Pins and needles sensation with disturbance in sensory, some mild numbness.
Nothing terrible really, by any stretch, but am seeking treatment because I also believe something small out of alignment is both indicative of a larger systemic problem often and can cause any number of other problems from its continued state of wrongness.

A cool quote I heard on the weekend : Humility is the guard at the door of the heart. If he is off-duty, the enemy can gain entrance.

How am I personally? Kinda weird. Ya ya, what's new. But emotionally, wow. Wonky. I wish I knew how much was a direct result of wonky hormones and what is legitimate. But wacky emotions. Happy with my super duper punkin, who by the way has returned to being my super obedient, happy-go-lucky buddy. She is truly the dearest pleasure and treasure with whom to spend my days. Part of my emotional drama comes from the fact that I was mostly an only child (only had a half-brother 16 years older than me), and I don't understand the emotional dynamic of multiple kids. For me, the love was ALL mine. If someone else had been there, they would have been intruding on MY emotional attention. That makes me sound pretty bratty eh? Oh well. Maybe I was. You'll have to ask my mom. Anyway, I'm nervous about how that will work, divying up my time and emotions so that no one feels neglected or replaced etc. Kinda nerve wrecking for me though. I am open to advice and/or commentary on that subject.
That's enough for now.
Later Taters!

Props to 'Zeke

Not much to report, but wanted to say something since it has been a couple days.

I'm reading Ezekiel and it is blowing my mind every night.

I had a WONDERful time at the piano tonight, just playing for the Lord and praying. Those times are so precious.

Anna was pretending to read Snow White to herself this evening and I like her version better than the real one. "So ... bad yady says to mirror, "Hi! How you do-een today??" couple pages later... "Den, yady baking apples goes visit Snow White. Says, "Hi!" Snow White says, "Come in Yady!" "
Much friendlier than Disney's version. Less meniacal.

Am aching to visit a big worship service again. Don't know how I will rig it. Will figure something out. Would so love to go home. Soon enough.

With MS, in a little over a week it will be a year since this episode came on, and I'm still left with my right arm tingly. My pinky finger sometimes feels better, but only sometimes. Some nights playing my ceilidh I have to pretty much watch my hand to make sure it is holding the bow and conTINues to hold it! If things get going too fast, I'm frantic pooling all my mental resources to keep it together. My legs don't seem to be numbing when I dance though, which is cool! But I am getting tippy/dizzy after dancing. Sometimes my nose and upper lip will get numb, especially if I rub them, like while washing my face or something. When I get too tired my eyes burn like the dickens. I had a really good day today though, and it was the first day in a couple weeks I took my greens+, so I wonder if that's something I should be more faithful to. Hmm.. we'll see. I felt so good I cleaned and scrubbed like a mad woman, every nook and cranny I could manage. Felt good to do!

All that being said, I still LOVe playing and it is still so therapeutic, I just wish I could do more, like go to a dance. I really don't know if I'd make it though, and if it is worth it, if it takes me a week to recover.

Anywho, gotta skeedaddle, just wanted to share.

Ciao!