Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Saturday, February 07, 2009

A New Leaf

I didn't plan it this way, but contemporaneous with this turning to a new decade seems to be the opening of a new era for me.

I am simplifying and pursuing purity in ways and at levels I haven't before.

A purging of possessions is part of this. As I reflect on materialism, and attempt to pull up at least a couple of my madly entangled, profoundly and shamefully deep roots out of the world and its stuff, one thought was this: in looking at people who seem to 'have it all together,' I considered their disattachment to stuff.

Maybe, they have fewer things to keep together. That would make the task much more do-able, non? I could have it all together, if that only meant a couple things.

My mom would corroborate this line a thousand times over if you asked her: stuff takes time. What I mean by that, is that possessions require time from you. If I didn't own this computer, I certainly wouldn't be blogging right now. Every item that needs dusting, putting away and/or cleaning after it is used, organizing - takes your time, and it mightn't sound like much, but I promise you, it adds up remarkably.

I know a lady whose husband was quite the pack rat, and she lamented to me that after 20 yrs of marriage, she felt she had lost an entire phase of her life to shoveling stuff. That is how she spent the last 20 yrs, with nothing to show for it. Move the junk, try to organize it (which she found impossible as it was simply too much), give it away, throw it away, whatever could possibly be done so as not to live in utter chaos.

I don't want this life. Now, I am not saying that my house is so junked up, but the principle applies on many levels. I often find my mind is racing, in a thousand undetermined directions, too much to pray and meditate on the Lord as I would like. I have described it as 5 radio stations going at the same time, none of which are properly in tune. I hate it. I don't want that lack of mental clarity and inability to find the stillness.

I want to pare down, distill the truly valuable in life, how I truly want to spend my time, (not how it gets spent by default or without thought to its passage), and live deliberately, thoughtfully, with beauty and value.

So, I am trying to thin down possessions, bad habits, bad food, all the while believing that less is, and will be, more. More contentment, more health, more peace, more time, more happy.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Impetus of Encouragement

There are some things I can neither explain nor quantify but I cannot refute them. I have seen it too many times. While I can't give anything conclusive or logical about the following topic, I have to share my experience.

There are many Proverbs of this variety, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones". (Proverbs 16:24) That sounds all sweet and poetic, but MAN it is true! Encouragement is incredibly powerful (as is the crushing power of discouragement, conversely!), and I am all but stumped before it as I observe its impact on my psyche.

I have even blogged about the excitement and warm-hearted feeling from receiving packages, and also about a trip recently from which I felt such renewal.

This is the part I can't explain, but also can't deny. I came away from that trip with motivation for life. Seriously. It sounds as if I'm overdramatizing, but I'm just being honest. After experiencing malaise for quite a long time, I found it very difficult to motivate myself to live better, to improve my skills and make good choices regarding health etc. Why am I juicing and training, jogging, and hitting a heavy bag so I can sit around my house and change diapers? Why should I practice music if the only thing I ever play is Twinkle Twinkle for Anna?

However, after this trip, I was so psyched and driven to be as healthy as I could be, to exercise, study, learn, improve, work hard, you name it. All this, because I wanted to be more able to optimize opportunities like that one. What good is it to go on this great trip but not be able to leave your hotel room because you are too tired, or not be able to go on walks because you are too weak, or play music at different places because you are losing skills?

SO I came home with a huge smile on my face, and found myself with strong desires for living the best I could. Before that, status quo sufficed. Day to day life didn't require too much; I seemed to be getting by fine without juicing or exercising etc. But if there are chances to do more? Good grief, I want to be up to it! I guess without these things, and over time with no change in daily life routine, I didn't feel the need to bother. Inspiration provided impetus.

I felt the exact same way, curiously, last night, after talking to an old friend: dearly beloved and much missed. I left our little chat wanting to be healthier, stronger, and not lazy in my grasp of life, but Carpe Diem, even though we hadn't talked about anything like that. It was merely the encouragement and strengthening my heart felt from the love and support of friend.

That is so powerful. I find it remarkable. The power of life and death really are in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21).

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

God's Skittles*

This post is a couple weeks old, as I have been waiting for opportunity to type.

*at time of typing, most all the leaves have fallen and their glory has faded away*


I'm still stuck on the fall colours, folks. Humour me.

(Notice all those ou's? I'm a good Canadian now. :)


As I drove home from church, for 3 consecutive weeks, I was awestruck to the point of laughing aloud in the car, almost in disbelief of what I was seeing. Luckily, wonderment isn't foreign to children, so the girls didn't think I was cracking up. At one point in the drive, which is all highway, I am at the base of a slowly inclining hill, and the road before me is straight. Because of the brightness and variety of the colours, the roadway looked as if it were bordered on both sides by great 50 foot high, multi-mile long rainbows, ribboning the length of the path. Seriously, every rainbow colour was there in full presence: Ferrari red, tangerine orange, banana yellow, summer grass green, eggplant purple, and many shades from peach to lime to add diversity, complexity, and interest. The only colour absent from the trees themselves, blue, was vividly visible in the sky, punctuated with radiating pure white cumulus.

I love how God can use colours and combinations that are so loud, but with such savvy and skill that they are not gaudy, but captivating and awe inspiring.

It mightn't have been little round fruit candy, but it truly was a feast for the eyes.

*God's Skittles have no hydrogenated oils.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Autumn colors

Anna quote of the day, while all us girls were out driving together.
"When I grow up I'm gonna marry someone and I'm going to drive his car."
You go girl.

This "out driving together" was so wonderful. It was like going on vacation somewhere, but only 5 minutes down the road. The fall colours here are phenomenal. This area is known for them, and has a chunk of tourism based on them. Well, this year did not disappoint! MAN they are gorgeous! Yesterday we had rain all morning and then later in the day, we went for a drive. We saw two striking rainbows in the East, a patch of yellow trees that looked like they were spray painted they were so opaque, solid, intense yellow. No branches to be seen, nothing, just LEMON yellow! My favourite part of colours here however, are the cooler tones. When I think of autumn I tended to think of mostly orange and brown leaves. Not so here! Try FUSCHIA, purple, garnet, cranberry, salmon, coral, violet, and this neon red color that reminds me of Manic Panic. And all these fantastic colours in no small quantity!
It's like the angels had a ginormous paint ball fight.

I don't know how many of you share that frame of reference. Manic Panic is a hair dye used by punks, at least the ones at my high school. Does everyone know that brand or is it just me?

Anyway, we stopped by the beach on the way home, though it was too chilly to linger. The waves were high and rough and depositing copious burgundy seaweed onto the beach. The texture and shades of the clouds hold my attention totally rapped indefinitely. Some days they put on quite a show, and this was one of those days.

I always enjoy the perspective I find the sea gives me. I always feel in my gut this weighty sense of the profundity of God's work, of his majesty and miraculous creation. It quiets me (an accomplishment) and is like a touch of the Divine, untouchable, Infinite in a harried world.
I love it.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Brain Rain

When it's like a desert out there, rain is sooooo refreshing. It turns dust into productive soil, and a dry hole into a pool.

And when cool things happen that stimulate your mind and your artistic muse, it is similarly rejuvenating.

I played a ceilidh last night with a great fiddle player who was driven'er as they say here, and that was musically great. Some of the best playing I've done in while, which was nice, cause I was wondering if I had lost it entirely. When you get a mojo going with another musician, I am amazed and what it pulls out of you that mightn't otherwise have been there. So fun.

So that was cool. And then I noticed against the wall, an older gentleman who had Is féidir liom JIG a dhéanamh written on his t-shirt. That's Irish, by the way, and I knew those shirts are only available in the Gaeltacht in Ireland, or online, but probably this guy had at least visited a Gaeltacht, so I had to meet him. He came up to me at the break and when asked, yes, he spoke Irish, and come to find he is from Conamara (a Gaeltacht), and is familiar with the area where I stayed, has worked near there etc. We had almost 15 minutes solid of Irish conversation which was super encouraging and fun for me: encouraging that I understood him, and he me. I press on in my goal! Then after playing a tune on the tin whistle he told the crowd that one of the reasons he had come to that town was to meet me, and how impressed he was that I sound like a native! Yay me! :)

This sounds egotistical I guess, but if you know me, you know I'm just excited for affirmation, since I have done soo very much of this as an auto-didact, I'm not super confident in my pronunciations etc. sometimes.

------------------------------------------

I have a new game I play. It's called give-the-phone-to-Anna-when-a-telemarketer-calls. Anna likes the game too. I like hearing her responses to their requests for one of her parents, and her attempts at making conversation with them.

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some of Anna's English:
covereds = cupboards
tugga four = tug of war
their chuthers = each other
high hill shoes = high heel shoes

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One of the best rains on my brain of late has been that I have been somewhat frequenting

here...

*sigh* aaaahh yes, fresh beachy watery airy goodness how I love you.

Did I mention this is 5 minutes from my house?

That is Atlantic Ocean by the way.

Did I mention that I have lived here 6 years and it was 6 years ago when I first visited this beach, then didn't see it again til this summer when I have become a bit more vocal about my wants, and I've been half a dozen times in the last month nearly. And it is love...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I love leaves.

I love it when this....

becomes this...

and this.



Jenni smiles. She likes it a lot.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Determination

Struck by potential.

I mentioned once a while ago that someone, ok, Niamh, sometimes violently opposes getting her diaper changed. Picture this little fart of a kid, a 20 lb, 2 ft long baby. Not a great big bunch of muscles compared to you or me (especially me) and not much weight to be throwing around. But when she really gets it in her head that she is not getting her diaper changed, holy moly, call in the SWAT team, it is a serious effort to keep her tush on the ground and get it re-wrapped.


This 20 lb weakling, if you add to her natural muscles the force of her determined will, can almost take me. She can pretty well quadruple her strength with her pluck, if she so desires.

Am I the only one that finds that remarkable? If she really gives herself to the idea of opposing my intention for her, she has a fighting chance against someone almost 6 times her size.

It makes me wonder how much potential and productivity is drained from our endeavors because we don't put out heart and soul into it. We don't give ourselves to it. We don't give everything we've got. Why do we hold back? What are we afraid of?
What could we accomplish if only we would? Why does fear so grip us?

How intense is our desire?

Niamh can make a mild protest, and it is nothing for me to keep her there. If she really digs deep and kicks, squirms, puts all her gusto into the battle, the things she can accomplish are remarkable. And her, this tiny un-formidable form.
Am I a silly optimist or is there anyone with me on this one?
I apply it : spiritually, socially, personally.

Are we really as powerless as we may think?
Maybe we are a Hercules that hasn't yet realized it.

I asked a music mentor in high school once how far I could make it with the violin. Give it to me straight, I implored.

He answered me, "That's up to you. The only way to find out is to do it. I can't know. It depends on you. The possibilities are far beyond what we can know."

Monday, February 18, 2008

seeking a muse

in a sea of ennui ~

such an inspirational malaise of late. Daily duties need sprinkles of delights.
Need the rumble of rumination taking flight.

I've recently discovered a new world that is inspiring me - New York hoofing. It is the new, crazy, no-sailor-suits-here tap of the young generation, and it is sweet. Check out Jason Samuels Smith or Sean and John on youtube. It is crazy awesome. Or the kathak tradition from northern India: a tradition I didn't know existed at all. This blew my mind. Ironically enough, I learned about it from a documentary on Irish television!

I artistically plateaued with everything - my dance, fiddle, piano: everything has gone stagnant, lost the spark of creativity. One heck of a nasty rut. Blech. A stinky trench.

So I've got to stretch - gotta grow. gotta move, find the flow....

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Warm fuzzies

I have had so much to say but have been getting busy. I have like 4 posts simmering in my head! Another day!

So Anna is addicted to tapenade (a Provencal paste made of pureed olives, fresh garlic, thyme, rosemary, lemon juice), and I don't blame her, we all love it around here. But she has that 2-year-old-love thing going on, where it's all she wants. While some kids want cookies, hot dog buns or peanut butter, Anna wants tapenade on a rice cake. I even gave her mashed potatoes with tapenade and cheddar. Mmm.

"Just a spoonful of tapenade, to help the vegetables go down!"

SO the warm fuzzies were due to a couple different things. Monday night's ceilidh was AWEsome. It was this fellow's last night of the season and did he EVER go out with a bang! This fiddler is a CHristian too, I will add. My grandma always used to cry when she heard beautiful music. I never thought this was really possible for me. I had certainly never experienced it. Until Monday night! I wasn't bawling crying or anything, but I had goosebumps and tears did come to my eyes. I was playing piano for him. It was absolutely thrilling, and all I can say was, it was absolutely FULL of God! I haven't had a feeling like that in years, since the old 8 hr. worship marathons in the 90's in Kansas City. FULL of God! I wanted to take my shoes off, like I was on holy ground. Also don't know if I'd ever experienced that before. I could just so feel the Holy Spirit working and moving around us while we played. Divine!!!

Then Tueday morning I had a package waiting for me from my very wonderful friend, Isabelle. She is so dear. A wee care package with every little item artfully wrapped in a variety of lovely papers, all thoughtfully selected, and beautifully presented. What a gal she is. And she managed to assemble all this with a month old infant clutching her bosom. I am so impressed, needless to say! Little treasures that make one feel loved, remembered, missed. Literally heart-warming.

I spent this morning baking, I made 2 batches of muffins, banana-oat-pecan for Anna and I, and blueberry to take to a lady nearby who just delivered a little boy over the weekend.

OH and Chris started his new job! It looks like it is going to be good for him. He is managing QUITE a large group, a big change for him and great new experience. I am SOO happy for him!!! YAY for not being in a hole that zaps your will to live!!! Thank You God!!!

Nappy time! The pillow beckons. I have had a great week and don't want to break the cycle. Must be diligent! Just say no to coffee and say yes to long naps. "Discipline. Discipline is the thing!" as Colonel Haughty says on Jungle Book.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Fun in the Yard

*Whew*
I just got in from romping in the yard with Anna, chasing her around and getting some excercise. It is SO gorgeous out, I am invigorated and ready for a sleep once my heart rate normalizes. After a scrumptious and healthy lunch of tapenade/ricotta dip with veggies and cherries for dessert, I feel very French and wanted to say just how beautiful it is, God just amazes me all the time. It is so divinely gorgeous: trees, butterflies, fresh chlorophyll smell in the air, the multitude of textures and colours, a zillion greens from brilliant to subdued, a hazey blue Cape Breton horizon prefaced by Tracadie harbour , yellow buttercups (that I saw for the first time in Ireland), and purple wildflowers... it all just takes my breath away. Or maybe that was the running... anyhow, it is pretty. Not to mention the radiance of the blue sky and pristine white clouds floating around in their dreamy leisure. Just magnificent. Thank You, God! What delights for the senses!

Then amid all that is a blonde beauty, smile lighting an already beaming face, running blissfully about, her swirling platinum ponytail bouncing and flying behind her. What a treasure she is.