The unfortunate dilemma remains that nobody wants to hear the following goopy complaints. But as I made clear in my introductory post, I don't altogether care. I will write about what interests me, and hope for the best. And until I get through this next phase of life called the 'first trimester', there will probably be more posts like this one!
I'm sure no one would disagree with me that it is not fun to be nauseous all day long, and so superly high maintenance! By that I mean, I can't get too hungry or it gets worse, or too full, or too active, too tired or blah blah blah you name it. I have to snack about every 2 hours or so. A mere colour or turn of the head or anything really at all can potentially set me off. That's great! And I am turned off by anything healthy. All I really want (although I've not yet had it) is candy bars and french fries. They are not permitted in the house as I know they are no good for either of us, but I still want them. And it's not wanting like normal wanting, oh no, this is like get-out-of-my-way-and-don't-look-at-me-with-that-salad kind of savage desire. It's quite intersting really, especially after a year of diet/lifestyle changing that required a lot of self discipline, I almost feel helpless against this. Before I could talk myself out of stuff, take the craving-bull by the horns, as it were, but this is a seemingly overpowering desire. I cower in the face of it! The only thing keeping me from it is absence. We do not own a candy bar, so I'm not eating one. Interesting. And salt. I want salt salt salt. Cheese, olives, aforementioned fries, ranch dip (with a little carrot stick on the side). About all I can drink happily is orange juice or tonic water. Tonic water really helps.
Housework doesn't get done, Anna doesnt' get played with, dinners are VERY simple, I might have spoken one sentence to her today in Irish. When I'm focussing on functioning, I am finding very little mental evergy for using a different language, which is frustrating. Just one more thing to make you feel useless during a time when you are .... rather useless! Not to sound overly pitiful or depressed, cause I'm not, but let's say, I am really appreciating WELLNESS.
My mom had a hernia surgery this morning, and within 4 hours she was home! Crazy. She is recouping well so far, but will be moving on Monday! Luckily the church paid to hire some movers, or she would be quite stuck!
Anna is sick too, some kind of cold, her little voice is so rathspy and broken, the occasional cough, and a mild fever. Chris and all his family have had it by now, so I was surprised she made it this long, actually. This is really the first time she's had a little fever at all. She had a small one in response to one of her shots, but that is it. She has been a remarkably healthy child to date. No ear infections, no flu, cold, anything. Amazing, really! I think a 2 day runny nose is about the worst we've seen here, so I'm not complaining, but it's always sad to see your child unwell, even a little.
On a totally different note, I found out today that my interview dealy will be featured in the November issue of Celtic Heritage Magazine, and that copies can be ordered for $4.95 plus HST plus shipping, which I'm told is approx. $1 per copy. Isn't it exciting? I haven't seen it yet, so I don't know, but I'm looking forward to finding out!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Leaves are turning...
and so is my stomach....
Goosebumps appearing...
as are the multitudinous trips to the washroom...
I am probably 3-4 weeks along-ish... it is about the size of 2 molecules. You can't tell me that that is putting pressure on my bladder, or that my stomach muscles already need to relax to make spatial accomodation ?!?!?
But it is. I'm glad to learn that my subconscious mind is much more on the ball about being prepared and having things done ahead of time than my conscious mind is. Because if it were up to my conscious mind to make these decisions, I would be thinking, oh gosh, it will be ages (months) before we need to do much in the way of space accomodation, and the bladder could certainly not be too affected for another few months, no? I am interested to know also, what is actually happening in the body chemically to make you nauseous 24/7. Is it hormonal? I mean really.
But here I am, to quote a famous modern poet, "I'd like to take a minute just sit right down, tell how my life got flip turned upside down..."
And by 2 molecules, no less.
Played the last of the summer concerts this weekend to a completely sold out crowd. Standing room only. There were 12 people (I counted them) standing outside the door looking in, listening, peering through the windows. Very cool.
For an update on some of Anna's new developments, you can check my husband's blog, the most erratic poster ever, but still, this new one is great! http://www.courtjester45.blogspot.com
Here's a new one of her. This was taken at Nanny's house last week. She is so gorgeous, and continues to defend her title as "Best Kid Ever"! She has graduated to a 'big girl bed', and after 2 days, she is already set in her new routine, never gets out after we put her in, Chris and I are just amazed, and immensely thankful.
Goosebumps appearing...
as are the multitudinous trips to the washroom...
I am probably 3-4 weeks along-ish... it is about the size of 2 molecules. You can't tell me that that is putting pressure on my bladder, or that my stomach muscles already need to relax to make spatial accomodation ?!?!?
But it is. I'm glad to learn that my subconscious mind is much more on the ball about being prepared and having things done ahead of time than my conscious mind is. Because if it were up to my conscious mind to make these decisions, I would be thinking, oh gosh, it will be ages (months) before we need to do much in the way of space accomodation, and the bladder could certainly not be too affected for another few months, no? I am interested to know also, what is actually happening in the body chemically to make you nauseous 24/7. Is it hormonal? I mean really.
But here I am, to quote a famous modern poet, "I'd like to take a minute just sit right down, tell how my life got flip turned upside down..."
And by 2 molecules, no less.
Played the last of the summer concerts this weekend to a completely sold out crowd. Standing room only. There were 12 people (I counted them) standing outside the door looking in, listening, peering through the windows. Very cool.
For an update on some of Anna's new developments, you can check my husband's blog, the most erratic poster ever, but still, this new one is great! http://www.courtjester45.blogspot.com
Here's a new one of her. This was taken at Nanny's house last week. She is so gorgeous, and continues to defend her title as "Best Kid Ever"! She has graduated to a 'big girl bed', and after 2 days, she is already set in her new routine, never gets out after we put her in, Chris and I are just amazed, and immensely thankful.
Monday, September 18, 2006
New life in the midst of autumn
The cycles continue.
One incidence of life came this morning. I discovered that the basil seeds I planted in a pot in my kitchen window, have SPROUTED!! I am very excited about this. In a matter of time, I will be able to cook with fresh basil! I cannot wait! What a difference this will make in Thai, French and Italian dinners!! Weehoo!
Secondly, if pee tests are as accurate as they say they are, I will be sprouting my own new life come next June! Well well well... one never knows what a day will bring. But new life in general today, huh? Wow. So, life will be a changin. Funny, the first thing I've been thinking about is where we will physically PUT it, will it get the guest bedroom and then we have no place to put guests? Or can it share a room with Anna? I have no idea. We have time to figure this all out though!
Other than that... hmm... I was nauseous this morning, but not bad. Nothing a piece of toast couldn't fix. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell everybody right off the bat like this, but since Katherine is apparently the only person who has ever read this (except you, Dad) , I feel it safe to share. I'm publishing this on my blog, and the news STILL isn't getting out! Hahahaha!!!! That is somewhat humourous. I really have the smallest readership on the web! That's great. :)
I'll have to get into some self-promoting. Hmm... maybe I can hire a publicist... or maybe I can chill out... I think that's the ticket!
One incidence of life came this morning. I discovered that the basil seeds I planted in a pot in my kitchen window, have SPROUTED!! I am very excited about this. In a matter of time, I will be able to cook with fresh basil! I cannot wait! What a difference this will make in Thai, French and Italian dinners!! Weehoo!
Secondly, if pee tests are as accurate as they say they are, I will be sprouting my own new life come next June! Well well well... one never knows what a day will bring. But new life in general today, huh? Wow. So, life will be a changin. Funny, the first thing I've been thinking about is where we will physically PUT it, will it get the guest bedroom and then we have no place to put guests? Or can it share a room with Anna? I have no idea. We have time to figure this all out though!
Other than that... hmm... I was nauseous this morning, but not bad. Nothing a piece of toast couldn't fix. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell everybody right off the bat like this, but since Katherine is apparently the only person who has ever read this (except you, Dad) , I feel it safe to share. I'm publishing this on my blog, and the news STILL isn't getting out! Hahahaha!!!! That is somewhat humourous. I really have the smallest readership on the web! That's great. :)
I'll have to get into some self-promoting. Hmm... maybe I can hire a publicist... or maybe I can chill out... I think that's the ticket!
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Your 2 cents, please
I have a couple questions here, so if you will, I would like to take a wee poll, if anyone is actually reading this. Which I doubt, esp. after 10 days of inactivity. Oh well.
Question #1
I heard once an expression I really liked. "He puts the 'b' in subtle!" Now, the speaker was trying to say that the person in question was NOT subtle, that it was humourous how conspicuous this person was being in the given situation. But it made me later wonder, upon further retrospection, was that a correct usage of the expression? Isn't the person who put the 'b' in subtle, QUITE subtle, because no one can detect that b! Is it not excellently hidden? Or is the expression suggesting that when Mr. Obvious says the word subtle, you can hear the 'b', that he doesn't have the savvy that the rest of the populous has, to be able to say 'subtle' so discreetly? Is this what makes the person not-subtle? I really don't know. Comments? How would you interpret this?
Question #2
Is about art. 2 perspectives on art and I am wanting to glean some other opinions on this one. Perspective #1 about art is a common one: "[True or good] Art is timeless."
This is contrasted with perspective #2 : Art is alive in the moment, happens within that moment in time and would therefore always be changing with the time it is made. That position would hold that it is absolutely contrary to say that art is timeless, contrary to the nature of art, that it expresses that moment, ONLY that moment truly, with all the context that goes along with it, political, social, personal, everything. What do you think? I'm not sure what I think yet. I can see both points of view. I have experienced things I felt were timeless and vice versa... input?
As for reporting and updates, I had an incredible concert last night. I was chording for another exceptional fiddle player, and my my my.... I was simply SOARing, speaking of true art!!! So so good. What can be said? It can't be expressed. You had to be there! Too bad you missed it!
I am doing great in general, health good, Anna good, Chris good, music good, food good... can't complain! I am only sad to see the leaves turning... they are beautiful and all, but I hate to think of the onset of winter, which won't be too far off! * sigh * Oh well. The world, she keeps a cyclin! And she should. But really, this has to be the best time of year in Nova Scotia. Generally produce is quite expensive here, I assume because it has to be shipped in from afar, but this time of year, good grief. Everyone is harvesting their gardens, Mary (my mom-in-law) literally has a GArbage bag of fresh garden tomatoes and another of cucumbers! So Anna and I are eating them like candy every day, and wow, it is such a treat! Oooh, and plums! We have plum trees next door and apparently I am their biggest fan, so I can and am eating as many plums as I can manage. I have never had such a copious supply of FRESH produce, esp. from our own yard or neighbours. Wow. AWesome! It is such a luxury. So combine that with beautiful weather (although a LOT cooler than my American neighbours) and things are still green and gorgeous, and I'm playing music: Jenni is in her glory. I've also had an awesome time on the long drives home from the concerts because the last 2 times I've been on my own and got to enjoy sermons all the way home (1hr 15min) which has also been Such a treat! Another time of such luxury, to have all that quiet time to listen to this without distractions. It has been perfect, and I am learning a lot. Yeah!!!
Question #1
I heard once an expression I really liked. "He puts the 'b' in subtle!" Now, the speaker was trying to say that the person in question was NOT subtle, that it was humourous how conspicuous this person was being in the given situation. But it made me later wonder, upon further retrospection, was that a correct usage of the expression? Isn't the person who put the 'b' in subtle, QUITE subtle, because no one can detect that b! Is it not excellently hidden? Or is the expression suggesting that when Mr. Obvious says the word subtle, you can hear the 'b', that he doesn't have the savvy that the rest of the populous has, to be able to say 'subtle' so discreetly? Is this what makes the person not-subtle? I really don't know. Comments? How would you interpret this?
Question #2
Is about art. 2 perspectives on art and I am wanting to glean some other opinions on this one. Perspective #1 about art is a common one: "[True or good] Art is timeless."
This is contrasted with perspective #2 : Art is alive in the moment, happens within that moment in time and would therefore always be changing with the time it is made. That position would hold that it is absolutely contrary to say that art is timeless, contrary to the nature of art, that it expresses that moment, ONLY that moment truly, with all the context that goes along with it, political, social, personal, everything. What do you think? I'm not sure what I think yet. I can see both points of view. I have experienced things I felt were timeless and vice versa... input?
As for reporting and updates, I had an incredible concert last night. I was chording for another exceptional fiddle player, and my my my.... I was simply SOARing, speaking of true art!!! So so good. What can be said? It can't be expressed. You had to be there! Too bad you missed it!
I am doing great in general, health good, Anna good, Chris good, music good, food good... can't complain! I am only sad to see the leaves turning... they are beautiful and all, but I hate to think of the onset of winter, which won't be too far off! * sigh * Oh well. The world, she keeps a cyclin! And she should. But really, this has to be the best time of year in Nova Scotia. Generally produce is quite expensive here, I assume because it has to be shipped in from afar, but this time of year, good grief. Everyone is harvesting their gardens, Mary (my mom-in-law) literally has a GArbage bag of fresh garden tomatoes and another of cucumbers! So Anna and I are eating them like candy every day, and wow, it is such a treat! Oooh, and plums! We have plum trees next door and apparently I am their biggest fan, so I can and am eating as many plums as I can manage. I have never had such a copious supply of FRESH produce, esp. from our own yard or neighbours. Wow. AWesome! It is such a luxury. So combine that with beautiful weather (although a LOT cooler than my American neighbours) and things are still green and gorgeous, and I'm playing music: Jenni is in her glory. I've also had an awesome time on the long drives home from the concerts because the last 2 times I've been on my own and got to enjoy sermons all the way home (1hr 15min) which has also been Such a treat! Another time of such luxury, to have all that quiet time to listen to this without distractions. It has been perfect, and I am learning a lot. Yeah!!!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
A little post theft
So I was reading my friend's blog, and she had this great story with accompanying inspirational analogy, and it is all that is on my mind right now, so I'm sharing it. For anyone who reads Yvonne's blog, you will find this boring. So I'll see you back next week when I have something original. ;)
At the time of this old story, Yvonne had a 2 year old who could reach the low-placed light swithes in her house. She was taking a shower when the child came up and shut off the light to the bathroom, so she was stuck in blackness in the shower, unable to see anything. Nothing would get the child to turn onthe light, so she attempted to finish her shower in the darkness. To her surprise, she was able to find and use the conditioner, the loofah, adjust the heat, and finish her shower, with basically no sense of sight or any trouble, just on instinct. Initially, she was impressed. Then a spiritual correlation hit her and took the cool out of her pride.
She wondered how often we as Christians do the same thing in our lives. So do I.
To quote Yvonne, ""How dependant am I, really, on Jesus for direction?" Do I count on His light to show the way? Or do I simply fumble my way through on my own...relying on instinct and tradition?? In fact, people are able to live a "Christian" life, do "Christian" things...and yet sometimes operate almost completely on their own. (By instinct or simply living through the repetition or routine of the Christian-ese lifestyle".) And if we find ourselves operating on auto-pilot without Jesus....can we even call ourselves "Christians"? How legitimate is our claim then, to the title of "Follower of Jesus", or "Friend of God". Wow. Scary thought...
I don't want to adapt to Lightlessness..."
God, don't let me settle for the dark.
At the time of this old story, Yvonne had a 2 year old who could reach the low-placed light swithes in her house. She was taking a shower when the child came up and shut off the light to the bathroom, so she was stuck in blackness in the shower, unable to see anything. Nothing would get the child to turn onthe light, so she attempted to finish her shower in the darkness. To her surprise, she was able to find and use the conditioner, the loofah, adjust the heat, and finish her shower, with basically no sense of sight or any trouble, just on instinct. Initially, she was impressed. Then a spiritual correlation hit her and took the cool out of her pride.
She wondered how often we as Christians do the same thing in our lives. So do I.
To quote Yvonne, ""How dependant am I, really, on Jesus for direction?" Do I count on His light to show the way? Or do I simply fumble my way through on my own...relying on instinct and tradition?? In fact, people are able to live a "Christian" life, do "Christian" things...and yet sometimes operate almost completely on their own. (By instinct or simply living through the repetition or routine of the Christian-ese lifestyle".) And if we find ourselves operating on auto-pilot without Jesus....can we even call ourselves "Christians"? How legitimate is our claim then, to the title of "Follower of Jesus", or "Friend of God". Wow. Scary thought...
I don't want to adapt to Lightlessness..."
God, don't let me settle for the dark.
Friday, September 01, 2006
A bunny trail's moment to shine!
So Chris and I were in this big discussion about creation/evolution/big bang/state of matter (quite fascinating by the way, especially in his retelling of everything), and while I promise I was paying attention through it, this side note passed through my mind and intrigued me in that 500 words-per-second spare mental time I had in between his spoken words.
It pertains to man's struggle with his sin nature. To reference that bit from Romans 7: 15-20,
"15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. "
This corresponded for me to one wee phrase plucked from that long chew; he was talking about Genesis' version about how God made man from dirt/dust whatever. So we are made of dirt. Amen! It just kinda gave me a mental picture of Romans 7, how we live in a dirt box/tent/house, and are always wanting to be cleaner, but alas, we are dirt. Then it is only logical that we would struggle with dirtiness!
Good thing God looks on the heart and not on the outward appearance! : )
It pertains to man's struggle with his sin nature. To reference that bit from Romans 7: 15-20,
"15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. "
This corresponded for me to one wee phrase plucked from that long chew; he was talking about Genesis' version about how God made man from dirt/dust whatever. So we are made of dirt. Amen! It just kinda gave me a mental picture of Romans 7, how we live in a dirt box/tent/house, and are always wanting to be cleaner, but alas, we are dirt. Then it is only logical that we would struggle with dirtiness!
Good thing God looks on the heart and not on the outward appearance! : )
Thursday, August 31, 2006
a bunch of silliness
A public service message from the blog moderators.
"The following segment will be tongue-in-cheek
in order to increase positive-tone content of this blog."Oh I LOVE cleaning the oven by hand! Many of you didn't know, but I am, in fact, the Grime-inator. I'm not one of those rough and tumble superheroes, however. I'm more of a floaty, delicately graceful cleaning fairy, gently gliding the steel wool repeatedly over the encrusted surfaces and casually dismissing with a smile, the steel splinters, cuts and gashes from sharp edges inside the oven. The new and improved prune-like surface of my hands is a fruit (no pun intended) of the faucet's incessant- I mean, gentle waterfall carrying away the burnt grease and unidentifiable gook from uncountable rag rinsings. The best of it all, is the crook in my neck from the contortionist routine I execute while beautifying the splattered roof of the oven and its lovely grey metal sides. What a delight.
"We now return to our regularly scheduled funereal content. "
What? I'm not funereal!!! Maybe sober, meditative maybe? but not funereal! Sheesh.
But there was fun this morning, BAKING bread in my fresh & clean oven. Yeah! I love baking. Seriously, I do! Just not pies. Me and meringue don't get along. Bread, cookies muffins, yo, I'm all over dat action! But get BACK with that gelatinous filling!!!
Chris is doing well, loving his new job. Thank You, God!
I have tons of Anna stories. About 10 times a day I must crack up and say, I've got to blog that! But sieve-for-brains-girl here sits down to type and sings, "where have all the stories gone?" Good question. Have I mentioned that she can count to 20 in 3 languages? English, Irish, French. Her Irish amazes me all the time. She is doing super well with it. Now I need to get on the ball with my French so that I can feed little tidbits of that too while she's still a sponge. She is 29 months (almost 2 1/2).
I have seen again today, some answered prayers that more than blew my mind. They were definite cases of Him doing "abundantly exceedingly above what we can ask or imagine"!! (Eph. 3:20) It sure does something for one's faith to see stuff you would never have imagined possible. Without disclosing people's situations, I'll say: He made a way out for people where there was no way, when they were QUITe literally at the END of their rope, and He brought up springs in the dry bones desert place! WEEHOO! SO awesome!! What a MIGHTY GOD we serve! Isn't it an absolutely asTOUNDing thought, that we have the ear of the Most High??? The CREATOR is listening to US?? What is up with THAT?!?!??! It absolutely knocks me off my rocker. He moved on our behalf. And He does it all the time... but often, we just don't have eyes to see it. God give us eyes to see and ears to hear.
Chris is doing well, loving his new job. Thank You, God!
I have tons of Anna stories. About 10 times a day I must crack up and say, I've got to blog that! But sieve-for-brains-girl here sits down to type and sings, "where have all the stories gone?" Good question. Have I mentioned that she can count to 20 in 3 languages? English, Irish, French. Her Irish amazes me all the time. She is doing super well with it. Now I need to get on the ball with my French so that I can feed little tidbits of that too while she's still a sponge. She is 29 months (almost 2 1/2).
I have seen again today, some answered prayers that more than blew my mind. They were definite cases of Him doing "abundantly exceedingly above what we can ask or imagine"!! (Eph. 3:20) It sure does something for one's faith to see stuff you would never have imagined possible. Without disclosing people's situations, I'll say: He made a way out for people where there was no way, when they were QUITe literally at the END of their rope, and He brought up springs in the dry bones desert place! WEEHOO! SO awesome!! What a MIGHTY GOD we serve! Isn't it an absolutely asTOUNDing thought, that we have the ear of the Most High??? The CREATOR is listening to US?? What is up with THAT?!?!??! It absolutely knocks me off my rocker. He moved on our behalf. And He does it all the time... but often, we just don't have eyes to see it. God give us eyes to see and ears to hear.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
being sung at IHOP*
"day by day ... step by step, and choice by choice, and yes by yes..."
"I will make you like Eden, in line with My kingdom, in line with My heart"
"How close can I go, how much can I see, how much can I know!"
"I Will make my way up the mountain. "
It's about the journey to knowing God, pursuing intimacy with His heart, and His drawing us step by step, if and when we say yes and yield to Him. I love it. He is so faithful!
*IHOP is the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. It is a 24/7 non-denominational house of prayer where one can find a full band of musicians worshipping God around the clock, 24/7, 365 days a year, all the time and for the last 7 years. You making supper? They are there praying. You driving to work? They are there praying. You get up at 3am for a bathroom run? They are there praying, and were since you went to bed, and while you were checking your email.
I love it! I live-stream the prayer room online, right into my kitchen and it has been a huge blessing for me, in the absence of such a thing in my own community. They pray for every nation on earth, for individuals, for God's kingdom to come, for revival, you name it. Good stuff.
"I will make you like Eden, in line with My kingdom, in line with My heart"
"How close can I go, how much can I see, how much can I know!"
"I Will make my way up the mountain. "
It's about the journey to knowing God, pursuing intimacy with His heart, and His drawing us step by step, if and when we say yes and yield to Him. I love it. He is so faithful!
*IHOP is the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. It is a 24/7 non-denominational house of prayer where one can find a full band of musicians worshipping God around the clock, 24/7, 365 days a year, all the time and for the last 7 years. You making supper? They are there praying. You driving to work? They are there praying. You get up at 3am for a bathroom run? They are there praying, and were since you went to bed, and while you were checking your email.
I love it! I live-stream the prayer room online, right into my kitchen and it has been a huge blessing for me, in the absence of such a thing in my own community. They pray for every nation on earth, for individuals, for God's kingdom to come, for revival, you name it. Good stuff.
Warm fuzzies
I have had so much to say but have been getting busy. I have like 4 posts simmering in my head! Another day!
So Anna is addicted to tapenade (a Provencal paste made of pureed olives, fresh garlic, thyme, rosemary, lemon juice), and I don't blame her, we all love it around here. But she has that 2-year-old-love thing going on, where it's all she wants. While some kids want cookies, hot dog buns or peanut butter, Anna wants tapenade on a rice cake. I even gave her mashed potatoes with tapenade and cheddar. Mmm.
"Just a spoonful of tapenade, to help the vegetables go down!"
SO the warm fuzzies were due to a couple different things. Monday night's ceilidh was AWEsome. It was this fellow's last night of the season and did he EVER go out with a bang! This fiddler is a CHristian too, I will add. My grandma always used to cry when she heard beautiful music. I never thought this was really possible for me. I had certainly never experienced it. Until Monday night! I wasn't bawling crying or anything, but I had goosebumps and tears did come to my eyes. I was playing piano for him. It was absolutely thrilling, and all I can say was, it was absolutely FULL of God! I haven't had a feeling like that in years, since the old 8 hr. worship marathons in the 90's in Kansas City. FULL of God! I wanted to take my shoes off, like I was on holy ground. Also don't know if I'd ever experienced that before. I could just so feel the Holy Spirit working and moving around us while we played. Divine!!!
Then Tueday morning I had a package waiting for me from my very wonderful friend, Isabelle. She is so dear. A wee care package with every little item artfully wrapped in a variety of lovely papers, all thoughtfully selected, and beautifully presented. What a gal she is. And she managed to assemble all this with a month old infant clutching her bosom. I am so impressed, needless to say! Little treasures that make one feel loved, remembered, missed. Literally heart-warming.
I spent this morning baking, I made 2 batches of muffins, banana-oat-pecan for Anna and I, and blueberry to take to a lady nearby who just delivered a little boy over the weekend.
OH and Chris started his new job! It looks like it is going to be good for him. He is managing QUITE a large group, a big change for him and great new experience. I am SOO happy for him!!! YAY for not being in a hole that zaps your will to live!!! Thank You God!!!
Nappy time! The pillow beckons. I have had a great week and don't want to break the cycle. Must be diligent! Just say no to coffee and say yes to long naps. "Discipline. Discipline is the thing!" as Colonel Haughty says on Jungle Book.
So Anna is addicted to tapenade (a Provencal paste made of pureed olives, fresh garlic, thyme, rosemary, lemon juice), and I don't blame her, we all love it around here. But she has that 2-year-old-love thing going on, where it's all she wants. While some kids want cookies, hot dog buns or peanut butter, Anna wants tapenade on a rice cake. I even gave her mashed potatoes with tapenade and cheddar. Mmm.
"Just a spoonful of tapenade, to help the vegetables go down!"
SO the warm fuzzies were due to a couple different things. Monday night's ceilidh was AWEsome. It was this fellow's last night of the season and did he EVER go out with a bang! This fiddler is a CHristian too, I will add. My grandma always used to cry when she heard beautiful music. I never thought this was really possible for me. I had certainly never experienced it. Until Monday night! I wasn't bawling crying or anything, but I had goosebumps and tears did come to my eyes. I was playing piano for him. It was absolutely thrilling, and all I can say was, it was absolutely FULL of God! I haven't had a feeling like that in years, since the old 8 hr. worship marathons in the 90's in Kansas City. FULL of God! I wanted to take my shoes off, like I was on holy ground. Also don't know if I'd ever experienced that before. I could just so feel the Holy Spirit working and moving around us while we played. Divine!!!
Then Tueday morning I had a package waiting for me from my very wonderful friend, Isabelle. She is so dear. A wee care package with every little item artfully wrapped in a variety of lovely papers, all thoughtfully selected, and beautifully presented. What a gal she is. And she managed to assemble all this with a month old infant clutching her bosom. I am so impressed, needless to say! Little treasures that make one feel loved, remembered, missed. Literally heart-warming.
I spent this morning baking, I made 2 batches of muffins, banana-oat-pecan for Anna and I, and blueberry to take to a lady nearby who just delivered a little boy over the weekend.
OH and Chris started his new job! It looks like it is going to be good for him. He is managing QUITE a large group, a big change for him and great new experience. I am SOO happy for him!!! YAY for not being in a hole that zaps your will to live!!! Thank You God!!!
Nappy time! The pillow beckons. I have had a great week and don't want to break the cycle. Must be diligent! Just say no to coffee and say yes to long naps. "Discipline. Discipline is the thing!" as Colonel Haughty says on Jungle Book.
Friday, August 25, 2006
highs and lows
Man, life is nuts.
We got some good news today, an answer to prayer -Chris got a new job!!! We are Super excited about this because he was not very happy at all at his last job, and it was the source of a great deal of mental distress for him. So this is a great relief for the whole family. We all know how one member's trouble hurts the whole body.
But this world is so crazy. There is the girl in Austria, escaped after being locked in a guy's basement for 8 years, since she was 10. What do you even do with that knowledge?
pray
What in the world is SHE going to do now? How is she ever going to function? How has she functioned for the last 8 years. It's just almost too terrible to really consider, but we cannot turn our eyes from pain: the person who is suffering can't escape it. We need to have the strength and fortitude of character I believe, to face it with them. We need to pray for her, truly. God must do a work in her heart, or she has no hope.
Then I found out today about some others with whom I went to school, who are in a terrible struggle this weekend, one boy I know is sentenced to be put to death, and they are going to visit him one last time tomorrow. I am so broken over that family and the desolation they have experienced, every one of them with their own buckling burden. I don't think words can pretend to approach these situations and the anguish in people's hearts. If you are reading this, and love God, do feel compelled to lift them up in prayer.
Of course these are drops in the bucket of all the world's misery, but God knows every tear; He doesn't miss one.
Lord have mercy.
We got some good news today, an answer to prayer -Chris got a new job!!! We are Super excited about this because he was not very happy at all at his last job, and it was the source of a great deal of mental distress for him. So this is a great relief for the whole family. We all know how one member's trouble hurts the whole body.
But this world is so crazy. There is the girl in Austria, escaped after being locked in a guy's basement for 8 years, since she was 10. What do you even do with that knowledge?
pray
Then I found out today about some others with whom I went to school, who are in a terrible struggle this weekend, one boy I know is sentenced to be put to death, and they are going to visit him one last time tomorrow. I am so broken over that family and the desolation they have experienced, every one of them with their own buckling burden. I don't think words can pretend to approach these situations and the anguish in people's hearts. If you are reading this, and love God, do feel compelled to lift them up in prayer.
Of course these are drops in the bucket of all the world's misery, but God knows every tear; He doesn't miss one.
Lord have mercy.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Props to 'Zeke
Not much to report, but wanted to say something since it has been a couple days.
I'm reading Ezekiel and it is blowing my mind every night.
I had a WONDERful time at the piano tonight, just playing for the Lord and praying. Those times are so precious.
Anna was pretending to read Snow White to herself this evening and I like her version better than the real one. "So ... bad yady says to mirror, "Hi! How you do-een today??" couple pages later... "Den, yady baking apples goes visit Snow White. Says, "Hi!" Snow White says, "Come in Yady!" "
Much friendlier than Disney's version. Less meniacal.
Am aching to visit a big worship service again. Don't know how I will rig it. Will figure something out. Would so love to go home. Soon enough.
With MS, in a little over a week it will be a year since this episode came on, and I'm still left with my right arm tingly. My pinky finger sometimes feels better, but only sometimes. Some nights playing my ceilidh I have to pretty much watch my hand to make sure it is holding the bow and conTINues to hold it! If things get going too fast, I'm frantic pooling all my mental resources to keep it together. My legs don't seem to be numbing when I dance though, which is cool! But I am getting tippy/dizzy after dancing. Sometimes my nose and upper lip will get numb, especially if I rub them, like while washing my face or something. When I get too tired my eyes burn like the dickens. I had a really good day today though, and it was the first day in a couple weeks I took my greens+, so I wonder if that's something I should be more faithful to. Hmm.. we'll see. I felt so good I cleaned and scrubbed like a mad woman, every nook and cranny I could manage. Felt good to do!
All that being said, I still LOVe playing and it is still so therapeutic, I just wish I could do more, like go to a dance. I really don't know if I'd make it though, and if it is worth it, if it takes me a week to recover.
Anywho, gotta skeedaddle, just wanted to share.
Ciao!
I'm reading Ezekiel and it is blowing my mind every night.
I had a WONDERful time at the piano tonight, just playing for the Lord and praying. Those times are so precious.
Anna was pretending to read Snow White to herself this evening and I like her version better than the real one. "So ... bad yady says to mirror, "Hi! How you do-een today??" couple pages later... "Den, yady baking apples goes visit Snow White. Says, "Hi!" Snow White says, "Come in Yady!" "
Much friendlier than Disney's version. Less meniacal.
Am aching to visit a big worship service again. Don't know how I will rig it. Will figure something out. Would so love to go home. Soon enough.
With MS, in a little over a week it will be a year since this episode came on, and I'm still left with my right arm tingly. My pinky finger sometimes feels better, but only sometimes. Some nights playing my ceilidh I have to pretty much watch my hand to make sure it is holding the bow and conTINues to hold it! If things get going too fast, I'm frantic pooling all my mental resources to keep it together. My legs don't seem to be numbing when I dance though, which is cool! But I am getting tippy/dizzy after dancing. Sometimes my nose and upper lip will get numb, especially if I rub them, like while washing my face or something. When I get too tired my eyes burn like the dickens. I had a really good day today though, and it was the first day in a couple weeks I took my greens+, so I wonder if that's something I should be more faithful to. Hmm.. we'll see. I felt so good I cleaned and scrubbed like a mad woman, every nook and cranny I could manage. Felt good to do!
All that being said, I still LOVe playing and it is still so therapeutic, I just wish I could do more, like go to a dance. I really don't know if I'd make it though, and if it is worth it, if it takes me a week to recover.
Anywho, gotta skeedaddle, just wanted to share.
Ciao!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Calling all Irish rhinos!
She trips me out. My 2 yr old just said 'rhinoceros' in Irish. Sronbheannach. She just walked up to me this morning and head butted me and told me "Sronbheannach!" I was awed once again. I can never believe the stuff she comes out with.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Shall we dance?
Anna says today is Noah's birthday. I wonder if she's right! hehehe
I was listening to CBC the other night, and they were doing a little special on Alan Watts. He is called the foremost interpreter of eastern philosophies (like Zen Buddhism) to the West. Now, I will by no means endorse this guy as a whole, but there was one analogy that spoke to me.
He talked about 2 different approaches to life explained by music and travel.
Music and travel are 2 very different things in their nature. Travel is goal oriented. It's about getting where you are going. It doesn't matter which chair you sit on while waiting to board etc. But Music, well, music is an entirely different bird. It is ALL about the journey. Completely NOT goal oriented. If it was, Watts argues, concertgoers would crowd into halls only to hear one great, cacophanous, smashing final chord, and leave satisfied. The best composers would only compose finales, etc. But this is of course not at all the case. Music is about every moment along the way. Making the most beauty and expression out of each note, each phrase. Milking it! There are musicians who blow through a piece as IF music were goal oriented, just breezing over some of the best material without a thought, but they are sharply and frequently criticised by their fellows, because... they are wrong.
Of course he followed with the supposition that life can be approached either of these ways. He posits, what if we were pursuing this one goal of life, and all along we should have been dancing to the music?
While I don't agree that there is NO goal to life, I do think that the more "musical" approach definitely has its own virtue, is often overlooked, and should be given much more consideration. Now by this I do not suggest that we should be taoist floaters, or undriven wanderers. But rather while we are travelling perhaps, we DO care who we sit next to, who we talk to, what we eat for lunch, who needs a door held for them, how much we carry with us, how many times we make someone smile, what music is playing on the loudspeaker, how the clouds are carrying themselves that day. And maybe if there is something particularly good on the loudspeaker, we not be afraid to get down and do a little boogie.
Just thoughts.
I was listening to CBC the other night, and they were doing a little special on Alan Watts. He is called the foremost interpreter of eastern philosophies (like Zen Buddhism) to the West. Now, I will by no means endorse this guy as a whole, but there was one analogy that spoke to me.
He talked about 2 different approaches to life explained by music and travel.
Music and travel are 2 very different things in their nature. Travel is goal oriented. It's about getting where you are going. It doesn't matter which chair you sit on while waiting to board etc. But Music, well, music is an entirely different bird. It is ALL about the journey. Completely NOT goal oriented. If it was, Watts argues, concertgoers would crowd into halls only to hear one great, cacophanous, smashing final chord, and leave satisfied. The best composers would only compose finales, etc. But this is of course not at all the case. Music is about every moment along the way. Making the most beauty and expression out of each note, each phrase. Milking it! There are musicians who blow through a piece as IF music were goal oriented, just breezing over some of the best material without a thought, but they are sharply and frequently criticised by their fellows, because... they are wrong.
Of course he followed with the supposition that life can be approached either of these ways. He posits, what if we were pursuing this one goal of life, and all along we should have been dancing to the music?
While I don't agree that there is NO goal to life, I do think that the more "musical" approach definitely has its own virtue, is often overlooked, and should be given much more consideration. Now by this I do not suggest that we should be taoist floaters, or undriven wanderers. But rather while we are travelling perhaps, we DO care who we sit next to, who we talk to, what we eat for lunch, who needs a door held for them, how much we carry with us, how many times we make someone smile, what music is playing on the loudspeaker, how the clouds are carrying themselves that day. And maybe if there is something particularly good on the loudspeaker, we not be afraid to get down and do a little boogie.
Just thoughts.
Opiate? I think nopiate.
Excuse the unfocussed, thesis-lacking rant that follows. I'm kinda in a mood.
enter > stream of consciousness ranting...
Thank heaven I'm not getting graded on form here, only content. ;)
So I was lying in bed last night thinking about societal control and social/emotional/doctrinal expectations.
Someone is a little sad one day, and they want to medicate you to get a smile pasted back on your face. Beware if you are sad for a COUPLE days, then everyone will start to wonder how stable you are, if maybe an institution should be brought into the situation to more effectively moderate you.
Get too happy, and you are criticized for being childish, naive, immature, even suspicious.
Make a strong stand on an issue and you are extreme, insensitive, intolerant.
We boast on and on about how tolerant a society we are, oh it is such a virtue and we are this great mosaic of different people who all live as brothers and isn't it great. Well I think it is malarky. It would and could be great, but we don't live as brothers and it isn't great.
It seems to me this society is rapidly becoming like some Big Brother novel where everyone is compelled to conform, everyone is doped into a lethargic pseudo-happiness, be it through actual medication or false-comfort stimuli like materialism, gluttony and the wealth of other vices, like WEALTH. And one dares not turn-off of the highway of hedonism, or you are labelled extreme, religious, legalistic, judgmental, "uncomfortable with your sexuality", fearful, not 'progressive', a self-righteous martyr and even backwards. I could have added another dozen critical adjectives to that list but I have to make supper eventually.
We have made a lifestyle out of comfort at the expense of virtue. Now our planet is paying for it, and so are we in our health, and we will pay more and more as time goes on, for our selfish, lazy choices over the years.
But I won't leave you with only depressing reading. For the sake of moderation, I'll say how cute it is that Anna is here singing along with all the songs on her cds while colouring. She is so precious. She loves to sing and dance.
I do too.
enter > stream of consciousness ranting...
Thank heaven I'm not getting graded on form here, only content. ;)
So I was lying in bed last night thinking about societal control and social/emotional/doctrinal expectations.
Someone is a little sad one day, and they want to medicate you to get a smile pasted back on your face. Beware if you are sad for a COUPLE days, then everyone will start to wonder how stable you are, if maybe an institution should be brought into the situation to more effectively moderate you.
Get too happy, and you are criticized for being childish, naive, immature, even suspicious.
Make a strong stand on an issue and you are extreme, insensitive, intolerant.
We boast on and on about how tolerant a society we are, oh it is such a virtue and we are this great mosaic of different people who all live as brothers and isn't it great. Well I think it is malarky. It would and could be great, but we don't live as brothers and it isn't great.
It seems to me this society is rapidly becoming like some Big Brother novel where everyone is compelled to conform, everyone is doped into a lethargic pseudo-happiness, be it through actual medication or false-comfort stimuli like materialism, gluttony and the wealth of other vices, like WEALTH. And one dares not turn-off of the highway of hedonism, or you are labelled extreme, religious, legalistic, judgmental, "uncomfortable with your sexuality", fearful, not 'progressive', a self-righteous martyr and even backwards. I could have added another dozen critical adjectives to that list but I have to make supper eventually.
We have made a lifestyle out of comfort at the expense of virtue. Now our planet is paying for it, and so are we in our health, and we will pay more and more as time goes on, for our selfish, lazy choices over the years.
But I won't leave you with only depressing reading. For the sake of moderation, I'll say how cute it is that Anna is here singing along with all the songs on her cds while colouring. She is so precious. She loves to sing and dance.
I do too.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Fun in the Yard
*Whew*
I just got in from romping in the yard with Anna, chasing her around and getting some excercise. It is SO gorgeous out, I am invigorated and ready for a sleep once my heart rate normalizes. After a scrumptious and healthy lunch of tapenade/ricotta dip with veggies and cherries for dessert, I feel very French and wanted to say just how beautiful it is, God just amazes me all the time. It is so divinely gorgeous: trees, butterflies, fresh chlorophyll smell in the air, the multitude of textures and colours, a zillion greens from brilliant to subdued, a hazey blue Cape Breton horizon prefaced by Tracadie harbour , yellow buttercups (that I saw for the first time in Ireland), and purple wildflowers... it all just takes my breath away. Or maybe that was the running... anyhow, it is pretty. Not to mention the radiance of the blue sky and pristine white clouds floating around in their dreamy leisure. Just magnificent. Thank You, God! What delights for the senses!
Then amid all that is a blonde beauty, smile lighting an already beaming face, running blissfully about, her swirling platinum ponytail bouncing and flying behind her. What a treasure she is.
I just got in from romping in the yard with Anna, chasing her around and getting some excercise. It is SO gorgeous out, I am invigorated and ready for a sleep once my heart rate normalizes. After a scrumptious and healthy lunch of tapenade/ricotta dip with veggies and cherries for dessert, I feel very French and wanted to say just how beautiful it is, God just amazes me all the time. It is so divinely gorgeous: trees, butterflies, fresh chlorophyll smell in the air, the multitude of textures and colours, a zillion greens from brilliant to subdued, a hazey blue Cape Breton horizon prefaced by Tracadie harbour , yellow buttercups (that I saw for the first time in Ireland), and purple wildflowers... it all just takes my breath away. Or maybe that was the running... anyhow, it is pretty. Not to mention the radiance of the blue sky and pristine white clouds floating around in their dreamy leisure. Just magnificent. Thank You, God! What delights for the senses!
Then amid all that is a blonde beauty, smile lighting an already beaming face, running blissfully about, her swirling platinum ponytail bouncing and flying behind her. What a treasure she is.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Explanations in order
My url is bowbreath as you must know if you are reading this.
Psalm 150:6 says, "Let everything that has breath, Praise the Lord!" and this is one of my banner quotes. I am a violinist and believe that God has given me both the fiddle to play and the skill, desire, strength and inspiration with which to play it. I am so thankful to Him for all this, as I love it! And I desire that He be praised through all my music, be it worship songs at church or Donald Angus Beaton Cape Breton fiddle tunes at a dance. In this way, with His life-giving gift, I give breath as it were, to the violin and the bow, and I desire that breath too give praise to God.
The bow has breath when my hand draws it, and I admonish it to praise God with its breath.
If the rocks can cry out, is not a musical instrument in at least as much a position to declare His glory?
The blog is titled A Vapor's Voice, because that is all I or any man am at best, according to Psalm 39:5, or 144:4 .... Every man's life is but a vapor, here for a moment and then vanishing away, his days like a fleeting shadow. I here, give this vapor a voice, if but for a moment.
So that is the story on that for any who were wondering. Any being, none, since I haven't yet given this link to anyone. hehehe
Also, I might post the odd thing in Irish - as Gaeilge - just cause I can and I want to try and use my Irish more so as to be proactive about preserving what I have and hopefully growing my wee knowledge plant.
Psalm 150:6 says, "Let everything that has breath, Praise the Lord!" and this is one of my banner quotes. I am a violinist and believe that God has given me both the fiddle to play and the skill, desire, strength and inspiration with which to play it. I am so thankful to Him for all this, as I love it! And I desire that He be praised through all my music, be it worship songs at church or Donald Angus Beaton Cape Breton fiddle tunes at a dance. In this way, with His life-giving gift, I give breath as it were, to the violin and the bow, and I desire that breath too give praise to God.
The bow has breath when my hand draws it, and I admonish it to praise God with its breath.
If the rocks can cry out, is not a musical instrument in at least as much a position to declare His glory?
The blog is titled A Vapor's Voice, because that is all I or any man am at best, according to Psalm 39:5, or 144:4 .... Every man's life is but a vapor, here for a moment and then vanishing away, his days like a fleeting shadow. I here, give this vapor a voice, if but for a moment.
So that is the story on that for any who were wondering. Any being, none, since I haven't yet given this link to anyone. hehehe
Also, I might post the odd thing in Irish - as Gaeilge - just cause I can and I want to try and use my Irish more so as to be proactive about preserving what I have and hopefully growing my wee knowledge plant.
Everyone else is doing it
Hello World, I am becoming a blogger. I know everyone is excited for this long-awaited announcement. I cannot yet offer any certainty as to whether I will be a daily addicted-to-expression blogger, or an I-check-in-every-day-for-2-months-and-there's-still-nothing-new blogger. Here's hoping for a happy medium.
I will say up front, that I will have a semi-selfish approach, in that, I will talk about what interests ME, without a great deal of regard for what might interest you. I apologize for my hedonism, but have no intention of changing. I guess that's not very apologetic at all. Nix that last part then.
It is probable that my readership (because I'm certain there will be a great number of you) will fall into a couple of different categories due to the diversity of subject matter contained herein. Those who are interested in the God-talk, fiddle-talk, the endless ramblings of a proud parent, and those who are intrested in all my nutritional lecturing. There will no doubt be a healthy dose of all of the above, plus whatever else ranting comes out the 'ole fingers. Because of course, out of the overflow of the heart, the fingers type.
It is more than likely that I will also use this venue to talk about what I experience with my MS in more detail than I bother people with in an actual conversation. I often feel the need to share what I am experiencing, but most people don't want to hear it, and I don't want to come off like a whiner either, so this convenient medium allows me to say as much or little as I want while remaining blissfully ignorant of whether or not you are skimming over in disinterest! I think this works perfectly!
From all that's simmering around in my head at present, if time permits, I can see this springboarding into a addicted-to-expression phase at first. Time will tell.
I will say up front, that I will have a semi-selfish approach, in that, I will talk about what interests ME, without a great deal of regard for what might interest you. I apologize for my hedonism, but have no intention of changing. I guess that's not very apologetic at all. Nix that last part then.
It is probable that my readership (because I'm certain there will be a great number of you) will fall into a couple of different categories due to the diversity of subject matter contained herein. Those who are interested in the God-talk, fiddle-talk, the endless ramblings of a proud parent, and those who are intrested in all my nutritional lecturing. There will no doubt be a healthy dose of all of the above, plus whatever else ranting comes out the 'ole fingers. Because of course, out of the overflow of the heart, the fingers type.
It is more than likely that I will also use this venue to talk about what I experience with my MS in more detail than I bother people with in an actual conversation. I often feel the need to share what I am experiencing, but most people don't want to hear it, and I don't want to come off like a whiner either, so this convenient medium allows me to say as much or little as I want while remaining blissfully ignorant of whether or not you are skimming over in disinterest! I think this works perfectly!
From all that's simmering around in my head at present, if time permits, I can see this springboarding into a addicted-to-expression phase at first. Time will tell.
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